Once upon a time there lived a thief. Everyone called him a great thief. One day he went to steal in one city. Whether he walked a lot or a little, he meets one person. - Great! - Hello! - What is your name and what is your profession? - asks the big thief.
“My profession is theft, and they call me a small thief,” he says.
- And I'm a thief. So let's buddy up. Fine?
- Fine!
They fraternized and went to steal. Dear says the big thief:
- Well, show me, are you a good stealer? And the little thief answers:
“It’s not for me to teach you, you’re a big thief, show me first how you steal.” The big thief agreed. They see a dove sitting on a poplar tree, cooing. The big thief says to the little one:
“I’ll climb this poplar, sneak up on the pigeon and pull out its entire tail so that it won’t even notice.”
He said and climbed up the tree.
He had not crawled halfway when the little thief quietly crept up to the tree, climbed up it and, while the big thief was pulling out the pigeon’s tail, managed to take off his pants. He took it off, hid it in his pocket and quietly climbed down from the tree. The big thief climbs down from the tree, shows the little thief the pigeon's tail, is proud, and the little thief takes his pants out of his pocket and gives it to the big one. The big thief was left a fool. Then he said:
- No matter how much they praise me, you, apparently, are cleaner than me. So they tested each other and moved on. Dear one, the small thief asks the big one:
- Where are we stealing today?
“Why should we go far,” answers the big thief. “Today we will rob the treasury of the king of this city.”
“Okay,” agreed the little thief.
They stopped in that city. As soon as it got dark, the thieves took out two large bags and went to the royal treasury.
They came and the little thief said:
“You go into the treasury, rake out the money, and I’ll fill the bags.” No, the big thief disagrees:
“You’re smaller than me, it’s easier for you to fit in, but I’ll wait here.” He talked and talked and persuaded the little one.
A small thief has entered the treasury and is raking out money. And the big one stands in the yard and fills bags. He filled both bags and signaled to the little thief. He came out, put the bags on his back, and went home.
The next morning the king granted access to his treasury. He looked and gasped in surprise. He called his advisors and began to confer. The advisers thought, thought and came up with an idea: they brought a large vat, buried it in the ground at the very entrance and filled it all with tar.
The next day the little thief says to the big one:
- Yesterday I climbed into the treasury, today it’s your turn to climb.
The big thief agreed, went - and as soon as he stepped his foot, he stumbled and fell into something sticky.
A small thief ran up, pulled him, struggled, but no, he couldn’t pull his friend out. The only thing visible about the thief is his head—he’s sitting up to his neck in tar. Then morning came. What should a small thief do? He didn’t think long - he grabbed the big thief with a dagger, cut off his head, carried it away and hid it so that no one could find it.
Then he went to the big thief’s wife and told her what had happened to him: “If I had left him alive, they would have pulled him out, forced him to tell everything - they would have caught us all and killed us.”
The next morning they reported to the king:
“A thief fell into our trap, but without a head.” The king came, looked, and was surprised:
“Thank you, Lord, I didn’t know that there were also headless thieves.” Then he ordered:
- Take the corpse of this thief and take it to the square, and place guards around it. Whoever passes by, sees him and cries, that will be his accomplice - catch him and drag him to me.
The little thief found out about this. He came to the wife of a big thief and said:
- Be careful not to go, lest they catch you. The big thief's wife asks:
“I can’t, I’ll go, even if I look at him from a distance and cry, nothing will notice.”
- Okay, if you can’t, go, just take a jug with you - as if for water, and when you get there, hit a stone with your foot, drop the jug, break it, then sit down and cry, as if you were killing yourself because of the jug.
That's what the big thief's wife did. She put the jug on her shoulder and walked away. As she approached her husband’s corpse, she touched a stone with her foot, dropped the jug and broke it. Then she sat down by the ruins of the jug and cried, she mourned her husband, and in her crying she remembered the jug. I cried, eased my heart, got up and went. And the guards are amazed that she is killing herself so much because of this jug.
That day has passed too. The guards came to the king, brought the body of the thief and reported:
- No one mourned this thief. Only one woman passed by, touched a stone with her foot, broke a jug, and because of that jug she was killed for a long time.
And so it grabbed the king by the heart. He understood why that woman was killing herself, but it was too late. The king beheaded all the guards and came up with a new trick.
He ordered the thief’s corpse to be taken out of town and thrown into a field - maybe someone close to him would want to steal it. Not far away he hid the guards and ordered:
“If someone comes for the corpse, tie it up and drag it to me.”
A little thief found out about this, took the donkey and drove it out of the city. He came and stopped not far from the village. He bought cookies, jam of all kinds, cooked chickens, turkeys, and didn’t forget wine, put it all in a khurjin, put it on a donkey and went straight to the royal guards. He came up and shouted:
—Are you not receiving a guest? I have a long way to go, I’m afraid I might get robbed at night, let me spend the night, I’ll treat you to a good dinner.
When the guards heard about dinner, everyone’s stomachs cramped and they let him in. We sat down and started having dinner. The little thief took out wine, poured it on and on for the guards, but didn’t even take a drop into his mouth.
He gave everyone a good drink and said:
“Now I’ll lie down and sleep, and you take care of my donkey so that no one takes it away.” Look, if I lose the donkey, I’ll report you to the king himself.
- Go to sleep, don’t be afraid, your donkey is not such an enviable one, no one will set his sights on him! - say the guards.
The little thief lay down, pretended to be asleep, and looked from under his eyelids. The guards didn't last long, they all fell down to sleep, lying as if they were dead.
The little thief stood up, put the dead man on his back, carried him out and put him on the donkey. He drove the donkey home, returned himself, lay down where he was lying, and fell asleep.
The donkey bowed his head and ran. This was not the first time he ran home alone. He came running and banged on the door. The wife of the big thief came out, took down the dead man, laid him on the ottoman and began to lament and cry. She cried, relieved her heart, then took the dead man, dug up the earthen floor under the ottoman and buried him.
The next morning the guards woke up and woke up the guest. As soon as the little thief woke up, he immediately grabbed the donkey; they look - there is no donkey.
The little thief shouted:
“I’ll go to the king now and report you.”
And the guards, already barely alive because they had missed the dead man, then went completely mad with fear.
They took out the money, presented it to the guest, asked him - they barely begged him. And that’s what the thief wants: he stole the dead man and got the money.
The guards came to the king - the king beheaded everyone,
And then nothing worked out for the king. He came up with a new trick: he ordered to strew the entire street with gold, place guards on the sides and ordered:
- Watch out, if anyone passes by and picks up the money, he will be the friend and comrade of that thief - grab him and bring him to me.
The little thief also found out about this. He doesn’t know what to do with joy. He took out buffalo skin, made himself calamans, coated the soles with tar and took them with him. He approached that street, sat down, changed his shoes into new calamans, stood up and walked along the gold-strewn street. He walks along, singing something himself, holding his head high, and not looking at the gold. He walked down the street, took off all the gold that was stuck to them from the calamans, buried them in the ground, stood up and walked around again. He went out to the other end of the street, now sat down here, took off all the stuck gold from his feet, buried it and went again. So I walked up and down that street until evening and picked up almost all the gold.
In the evening the guards gathered what was left, took it to the king and said:
“Nobody took the money, only some man walked along that street from morning to evening.”
The king was angry that they had not captured that man, and beheaded these guards.
Again the king called all his advisers and again began to confer. And the king had one learned doe: as soon as they let her off the leash, she would run and sit near the house where the king’s enemies lived. The advisers remembered about this doe: “Let’s let her down; where she sits down, there lives your enemy and that thief’s comrade.”
The king liked this advice. They released the doe. A doe ran, ran and sat down near the very house where the little thief lived.
The little thief woke up and saw that the royal doe was sitting at the gate. The thief had heard about this doe before, but now, when he saw it, he immediately understood what had brought her here.
He went out, grabbed a doe, dragged it into the house, stabbed it, cut it and hung it from the ceiling.
And the king is looking, looking for his doe, and has put the whole kingdom on its feet. No, they won’t find it, the doe is missing. The king gathered his advisers and told them what had come of that matter. The advisers are speechless, they don’t know what to say.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, an old woman appeared. He comes to the king and says:
- I found out that you lost your doe. What will you give me if I find the one who killed her?
“Whatever you ask, I will give,” says the king,
- So will you give me nobility?
- I’ll even give you a principality, like nobility! - says the king.
The old woman got up and went in search.
She walked and walked and reached the house of the small thief.
The little thief is not at home, the wife of the big thief looked out.
The old woman said:
“Daughter, do you have a piece of doe meat, give it to me for the sick man, for God’s sake.” She didn’t even know what was on the old woman’s mind, so she entered the house, cut off a piece of meat from that doe and
gave.
The old woman could barely stand on her feet with joy. She grabbed the meat and ran. She runs, and a small thief meets her:
- What is this, old woman, are you talking about?
“They taught me how to get doe meat for a sick person, in that house, God bless her, one woman gave me a piece,” says the old woman.
The little thief immediately realized what was going on. He understood the trick of the cunning old woman and said:
- How will this piece of meat help you? Let's go, let's go, I'll give you half a doe, and you can eat it yourself, and feed your neighbors, and there will be some left over for the sick person.
The old woman felt dizzy with joy, turned around and followed the thief. And the little thief lured her into the house, grabbed a dagger and killed her. Then he took her corpse and buried it there, under the ottoman.
And the king waits, waits, thinks, the old woman is about to return.
Time passes - no and no old woman. The king lost hope, gathered his advisers again and said:
- What should we do now, will we really not deal with this thief? The advisors responded:
“This is apparently such a clever and clever thief that we can’t cope with him.” Then the king stood up and announced:
“Let that thief come to me himself, I won’t do anything to him, I’ll also give him my daughter as a wife—it’s obvious that he’s very smart if he’s caused me so much harm, but I can’t do anything with him.”
The little thief found out about this, came to the king and reported:
- I am that thief, now do with me what you want.
The king could not go back on his word and gave him his daughter as his wife.
A neighboring king heard about this. He began to write letters to this king - he laughs, mocks him: “And aren’t you ashamed, king? Some thief has driven you so far that he took your daughter as his wife and became your son-in-law.”
The king was very offended by such mockery; he could not bear it, fell ill and went to bed.
The son-in-law comes to the king and asks:
- What are you sick with?
The king told everything to his son-in-law.
- Is that what you care about? - says the son-in-law. “Give me just a few days, you’ll laugh at that king himself.” Call guests on such and such a day, arrange a good feast, and on that day I will return.
He set a deadline and left.
Whether he walked a lot or a little, he reached the kingdom of that mocking king. He stopped in one house, rested, then went and found a tailor and said to him:
- Sew me a dress from leather of various colors, and insert small ringing bells between the seams.
The tailor made a dress from leather of all colors. The thief paid him, dressed up in that dress, picked up the sword that sparkled in the sun, and went to that king. The courtiers do not allow the thief in, but the thief shouts:
“I am Mikel-Gabriel, sent by God himself to take the souls of your king and queen to heaven.” If you resist me, I will take your souls and send them straight to hell!
As soon as he moves, all the bells start ringing and singing.
Everyone got scared - and they took their breath away from fear, they ran away, hid in all directions.
A thief entered the king. When the king saw him, he turned completely white. This Michael-Gabriel began:
“I give you and the queen three days’ time.” Finish all your earthly affairs, hand over your kingdom to whoever you want, and strip naked, take two chests and climb into them naked, and place the keys on top. In three days I will appear, lock the chests and take you where you need to go,” he said, turned and left.
He came home, undressed, and spent all these three days drinking and having fun.
On the third day, he dressed up again in the same colored dress and went to the king. And the king and queen undressed, climbed naked into their chests and waited for him, trembling. A thief came and shouted:
- When we arrive in heaven, you will hear music, I will open the chests, and you jump out and start jumping and dancing; Just look, don’t open your eyes, otherwise it will be bad.
He took the keys, locked the chests, put them on his back and carried them out. He went out, hung the chests on the donkey, walked and quietly urged the donkey on:
- Atse! Atse!
At the appointed time he appeared to his father-in-law. And that day the king called to him many guests from neighboring kingdoms, and they had such fun that time, looking at them, rejoices. The thief came, and as soon as he removed the chests from the donkey, wonderful music was heard.
The thief opened the chests - the naked king and queen jumped out and began jumping and making faces. Everyone looks at their stupidity, laughs, and dies laughing.
The king approached them, stopped them, gave them royal dresses and said:
- It’s too early for you to go to the next world, return to your kingdom and rule there honestly. And this is a lesson for you so that you don’t laugh at others in the future.
After this, the king fell in love with his son-in-law even more. And when he died, he bequeathed his entire kingdom to him.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru