One day, Saint Peter and Saint John started a desperate quarrel at the entrance to Paradise. It is not known what exactly they were arguing about, but the reason, apparently, was serious, because both saints, starting with barbs and curses, ended in hand-to-hand combat. Clutching each other, they fought like two angry cab drivers.
Saint Peter was beaten. He rose covered in dust, feeling vexed, completely unworthy of such a high-ranking saint, and with all his might he threw the huge, heavy keys of heaven into St. John’s face.
But the head of the apostles, blinded by rage, had poor aim. The keys fell at the feet of Saint John, who quickly grabbed them and declared that from now on he himself would open and close the gates of heaven. No matter how the former gatekeeper begged his godfather to forgive him for his momentary outburst, no matter how he fawned on him, trying to lure out the keys, Saint John did not even want to listen to anything and only grinned contemptuously when Saint Peter threatened to complain to God himself. He knew that Saint Peter would be afraid that the Lord would scold him for giving vent to his anger, and would not dare to bring a complaint against him, Saint John.
The new gatekeeper, still inexperienced in the performance of his duties, allowed several souls who had no right to cross the sacred threshold. The devil, appearing to him in person, reproached him for excessive condescension and said that it was indecent for a saint to take bread from a former archangel. He swore that he would report these matters to God the Father. But Saint John was not at all moved by the threat: he knew that the devil would not enter heaven.
Among the people who, thanks to the saint’s frivolity, entered the kingdom of the blessed were three violinists. But instead of behaving decently in the respectable society into which they had smuggled their way, they began to play the most rollicking and seductive tunes on their violins. Soon they were surrounded by a whole crowd of younger saints - boys and girls, who immediately began to dance in circles, to the great indignation of the patriarchs and elderly saints, persistent in their virtue. They went to report to God the Father about the scandalous and unheard of things happening in paradise.
God the Father ordered to appear to Saint John, who was pointed out to him as the root cause of all this disgrace. He scolded the saint for having taken possession of the keys by force, and ordered them to be returned to Peter without any delay, who from time immemorial had been vested with the right to fulfill the duties of the keymaster. He, in turn, reproached Saint Peter for succumbing to anger, but the apostle, delighted with the permission to regain his rights, was not at all offended by these reproaches. As for Saint John, he received an order to remove three scoundrels who had climbed into heaven through his oversight.
Saint John found himself in a very difficult situation. There was no point in thinking about taking the violinists out by force. Once entered into paradise, he can leave it only at his own request. Having sat down in a corner, Saint John began to think about what to do here, but he could not come up with anything.
And the atrocities in paradise continued. But as the musicians played tirelessly, the strings of the violins began to break one after another, the hair on the bows became worn out, and the violinists already felt that they would soon have to stop playing. Saint John learned of their misfortune, and the hope arose in him of using cunning to get rid of the uninvited guests who had slipped into paradise.
He called a drummer from the city, sat him not far from the gates of heaven and ordered him to drum and shout that he had three beautiful violins for sale, a large supply of strings, bows and rosin; whoever wants to buy, let him contact him, and he will sell the goods at the most reasonable price.
At this news, the musicians jumped for joy and hastily ran out of paradise to buy new violins. The Okies bought everything without haggling, but when they wanted to go back in, Saint Peter mercilessly slammed the gates of heaven in their very faces. As they say, he was completely indifferent to the pleas of the righteous youth, who besieged him in crowds, imploring him to allow the cheerful musicians to return to heaven.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru