In one village lived a tailor Shkamrav. He sewed poorly, and everyone constantly scolded him. More than once they told him:
- Ooh! May your hands wither, how bad you sew!
Even when Shkamrav managed to sew something well, he was also scolded. Other tailors were jealous of him and said:
- Ooh! How well you sewed so that your hands would dry out!
And Shkamrav thinks to himself: “It’s hard to live here. If I sew poorly, they scold me, if I sew well, they also scold me.
Shkamrav left the village. He walked and walked and came to a large dense forest. So he walks through the forest and meets a bear. The bear asks the tailor:
“Where are you going, Shkamrav, my dear?”
- I go where the eyes look, where the ears of the poor cannot hear.
- What is it?
- My life is no good: I sew it badly, they scold me, they say: “May your hands wither, how poorly you sewed!” If I sew it well, they also scare me, they say: “May your hands wither, how well you sew!” So I decided to leave here.
The bear says to the tailor:
“My life is also unimportant: the men scare the cattle with me; when they get angry, they say: “Oh! the bear is going to kill you!” The women frighten my children, they say: “Be careful not to cry, otherwise the bear will eat you.” I will go with you where the eyes look, where the ears do not hear the bad.
“Well,” says the tailor, “let’s go.” The two of them moved on. The devil comes towards them and asks:
-Where are you going?
“Let’s go,” they say, “to where the eyes look, where the ears do not hear.”
- What is it?
- Yes, so and so, our life is bad! And they told the devil about their grievances. The devil tells them:
“And my life is no better than yours: the men swear and remember me, the women don’t say a good word about me, the kids scare each other with me too.” Take me with you too.
- Well, let's go.
Went. They walked and walked and entered the very depths of the forest. There is a hut in the forest thicket. They entered and saw that no one lived in it. They settled in this hut.
And then somehow they decided to brew beer.
— To brew beer, you need malt. Where can we get malt? - says the tailor.
- No malt? - the devil answers. “It’s not a problem.” I'll get it now. There is a mill on the river, there are no one there right now, and there is a bag of malt outside the door. I’ll fly over now and bring it!
- And we don’t have a pot where to brew malt!
“And I’ll bring the pot,” says the bear. “There is an old oak tree in the forest nearby, and under the oak tree in the spring the women cook the mash.” The overturned pot still stands there.
The devil flew for malt, the bear dragged the pot. They started brewing beer.
The tailor tried it and said:
- We should add some honey for strength! Bear says:
- Well, that’s my thing. There's a beekeeper nearby, I'll go get some honey.
The bear brought some honey, found some hops in the neighboring bushes, and the beer turned out great. His friends put him in the cellar.
A day later, the tailor went to the cellar to get some beer, and he looked - the plug on the barrel had been taken out, someone had already tried the beer.
The tailor came to the hut and said:
- Brothers, someone is stealing our beer!
- Who could steal this?
- We'll have to keep watch.
They agreed to take turns guarding their cellar. On the first night a bear came. The bear climbed into the cellar in the evening, hid behind a beer barrel and waited to see what would happen.
Around midnight, a noise was suddenly heard. It seemed to the bear that someone had arrived either on a cart or on a sleigh with bells.
The bear is hiding behind a beer keg, barely breathing. And this was Viryava arriving in a mortar. Her pestle is a whip, her grip is an arc, her frying pan is a bell.
He rides, clears the way with a poker, pushes the mortar with a pestle, covers the trail with a broom, hits the frying pan with a frying pan. And there was such a ringing noise from her, as if a wedding train was coming.
Viryava drove up to the cellar, quickly rushed to the barrel and let’s drink beer, she drinks and chokes. The bear jumped out from behind the barrel and barked:
- Are you old, are you stealing our beer? But Viryava has already gotten the hang of it and can’t tear himself away from beer. She was angry with the bear for disturbing her, and how he hit him on the forehead with a pestle! The bear wanted to rush at Viryava, but where could he go? She stunned him with a pestle, clogged his eyes with a broom, raked him under herself with a poker, and even made a noise with the frying pan.
And she got drunk on beer and left. A bear comes into the hut and groans.
- Who did you see? - the tailor and the devil ask him.
- I didn’t see anyone! - the bear mutters.
- Why are you moaning?
“I fell down the stairs into the cellar and survived by force!”
OK. The next night the devil went to guard.
And everything that happened with the bear repeated itself. Viryava became even more angry - not only did she beat the devil, she also knocked off the tip of his tail with a poker.
The next morning the devil came home angry and grumpy. The tailor and the bear ask him:
- Who did you see?
-Who will you see there? - he grumbled in response, and he licked his tail.
- Why is this tail in your blood?
— I accidentally caught it in the door.
On the third night, Shkamrav gathered to guard the beer.
He took his balalaika and his iron arshin with him and hid.
At midnight, Viryava rides and makes a noise: he clears the path with a poker, drives the mortar with a pestle, covers the trail with a broom, hits the frying pan with a frying pan: “Hey, that’s who drinks our beer!” - the tailor thinks. He hid and began to see what would happen.
And Viryava took out the plug, leaned down to the beer and drank. Then the tailor struck the strings, played the balalaika and sang:
Drink, drink, little wife,
To the very bottom!
Viryava liked the song. She drank to her heart's content and said:
- A-ah, is that you, Shkamrav? Well done! Now play the dance song, I want to dance!
The tailor hit the dancer. Viryava began to dance. She's already dancing, she's wriggling. And the tailor plays along with her, winks. Viryava danced to her heart’s content and said:
- Wow! I haven’t had this much fun for a long time, I’m tired! I even wanted to eat. Come on, tailor, young daring, come closer to me, I’ll eat you!
“Well, I don’t mind,” the tailor replies, “I haven’t sat in a warm place for a long time.” Just you, grandma, have another beer before eating - it will be easier and more fun!
Viryava fell to the beer barrel again - she drinks, only the bubbles gurgle.
And Shkamrav sang the song again:
Drink, drink,
There's a penny at the bottom!
If you drink from the bottom -
You will find gold and silver!
Viryava was delighted. She drinks and drinks, swells with greed - she gets to the very bottom. Saw-saw and fell drunk. This is what Shkamrav was waiting for. He took off his red sash, twisted Viryava’s hands and began to beat her with an iron yardstick. He beat her, beat her, whipped her, whipped her, and knocked all the hangover out of her. Viryava rushes about, howls like a wolf, screams like an owl and finally begs:
- Shkamrav, dear, let me go! I will do whatever you want for you.
“Yeah,” says the tailor, “that would have happened a long time ago!” Come on, what can you do for me?
- I will give my daughter to you, beauty!
- And what else?
“I’ll build a new hut as a dowry, I’ll give a yard full of cattle, I’ll pour out seven measures of silver, seven measures of gold!”
“Won’t you deceive me, old lady?” - asks the tailor.
“If you don’t believe me, here’s my magic handkerchief, which I gave to my daughter as a dowry: as soon as you cover your face with it and wipe yourself, you will become a fine fellow and all your wishes will come true.”
- OK. — the tailor agreed and untied Viryava’s hands.
Viryava jumped up, quickly sat down in the mortar, waved her pestle, hit the frying pan - and she was gone.
In the morning Shkamrav comes to his hut and sees that the devil and the bear are not sleeping, they are waiting for him.
- Well, who did you see there? - they ask.
“I saw,” he says, “Viryava.”
-What did she reward you with?
- Yes with what? She married her beautiful daughter to me! As a dowry he gives a new hut, a full yard of cattle, seven measures of silver and seven measures of gold.
The devil and the bear can’t believe their ears, but Shkamrav continues:
“So she gave me her magic handkerchief: as soon as I cover my face with it and dry myself, all my wishes will come true.”
Here the devil and the bear admitted:
- We also fought with Viryava! Let's see who will have to get married. We'll argue about this!
- How are we going to argue? - asks the tailor.
“Let’s argue like this,” says the bear. “Two will take turns staying at home, and the third will scare us.” Whoever manages to scare others the most will marry Viryava’s daughter, and he will receive a magic handkerchief!
The bear says this, but he himself thinks: “I will scare them so much that they will run away and forget the way here. It’s not for nothing that men, women, and children are all afraid of me.”
And the devil is happy too. He thinks: “Well, just let them stay for themselves, I’ll instill such fear in them that they won’t forget for a century: it’s not for nothing that everyone is afraid of even my name.”
The tailor has nothing to do - whether you like it or not, you have to agree.
The bear went first to scare, but the tailor and the devil stayed at home.
A bear came behind the bushes and started roaring.
He roared and roared and began to tear out the young trees by the roots. There was a crackling sound throughout the forest. The devil got scared and wanted to run away, but Shkamrav said:
- Don't be afraid: it's a bear.
And the bear approached the hut itself and howled at the top of its lungs, as if it was scaring the guys:
- Here comes the bear, the bear! The bear will grab you, run!
Shkamrav and the devil shout to him from the hut:
“Well, stop shouting and making noise, we’re not kids!”
So the bear did not manage to scare them. The devil went to scare, but the tailor and the bear remained at home.
The devil climbed up a tall tree and let the air from there blow on the hut. The wind rose such that the pines groaned, the oaks cracked, the aspens danced, and the roof of the hut was about to collapse and the windows would fly out.
The bear got scared, he says to the tailor:
“We need to run, but what the hell, the storm will overturn the hut and crush us.” And the tailor just laughs.
“This,” he says, “the devil scares us so much, don’t be afraid!”
The devil sees that the tailor and the bear are not afraid of the storm; he flew up to the very window and shouted in a voice that was not his own, like women shouting at children:
- Look, look: the devil, the devil is flying!
And the tailor and the bear shout to him from the hut:
- Well, that's enough for you! Still, we’re not afraid—we know who you are!
The devil returned to his comrades - he didn’t scare anyone.
It was the tailor's turn to scare the devil and the bear. He waited until nightfall, took a frying pan and a frying pan with him, made a mallet out of two sticks and quietly went out.
At midnight they hear the devil and the bear: someone drove up to the hut, either on a sleigh or on a cart, knocking, rattling and ringing the bell. They were scared. The bear whispers to the devil:
-Who is this? Isn’t it Viryava?
- It must be her! - says the devil, and he himself is shaking.
And the tailor came to the window, and how he rattled the mallet with all his might, how he clanged the frying pan, how he shouted in a voice that was not his own:
- Come out, come out quickly! It’s me, Viryava, riding in a mortar! My pestle is a whip, my grip is an arc, my frying pan is a bell! I clear the path with a poker, I cover the trail with a broom, I wait for the bear and the devil, I want to crush the bear’s bones, tear off the devil’s tail?
The bear and the devil were seriously scared. They jumped out of the hut and started to run, only the brushwood cracking under them. They run and run and don’t look back. So they ran away.
Shkamrav was left alone, threw a magic handkerchief over his face, dried himself, and a new hut stood in front of him. In the hut, under the window, sits a beautiful woman, Viryava’s daughter, embroidering. There are seven measures of silver and seven measures of gold on the bench. There is a new fenced yard around the house. The yard is full of cattle.
Shkamrav and Viryavin’s daughter got married and began to live and get along and make good things.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru