Well, there lived a man in the village. Handy for everything. Whatever he thinks, he will do. And he managed everything easily.
One day he wanted to laugh at the gentlemen. He came to the master's yard. He looks and sees a white pig with piglets walking around the yard. The man took off his hat and began to bow to the pig.
The lady saw this from the balcony.
- Why are you, man, bowing to my Belyanka? The man scratched the back of his head and said worriedly:
“You see, lady, what’s the matter: your pig Belyanka is my own aunt Ryabka.” Ryabka is getting married, so she sent me to ask my aunt for the wedding. But my aunt is still picky and doesn’t want to go. So I bow to her.
“I didn’t even know that my Belyanka had a niece!” - the lady is surprised.
- Yes, yes! - says the man. “She is also kind, quiet and meek, just like her aunt.”
- What do you think - will you lead her or will you take her? - asks the lady.
- I’ll drive, lady: there’s nothing to carry.
— How will the piglets stay at home?
- No, lady. Ryabka invited her aunt and the children.
“But they’re still small, will they make it?”
“What’s true is true, lady,” says the man, “perhaps they might not make it: the road is not close.”
- So I will order the horse to be harnessed.
“It’s clear, lady, it would be better for them on a cart: after all, they are not ordinary piglets, but master’s ones.”
They immediately handed the man a cart. He tied up Belyanka, put her on a cart, and put the piglets in a sack.
— How soon can we expect Belyanka and the children from the wedding? - asks the lady.
“Yes, after the rain on Thursday,” the man answers.
He got on the cart and went home.
The gentleman returned from hunting. So the lady told him that their Belyanka had gone to her niece’s wedding and would return after the rain on Thursday.
“Oh,” says the master, “how stupid you are!” The man deceived you: both the pig and the piglets and the cart will be lost. Well, he won’t fool me!
The gentleman ordered the three horses to be harnessed, sat down with the coachman and rushed to catch up with the man.
The troika is flying along the road, only the dust stands in a column and the bell rings under the arc.
The man heard the bell and thought: “Isn’t this a chase?” He turned the horse into the forest and tied it to a tree. And he went out onto the road, covered the toad with his hat and sat down next to him, holding the hat with both hands.
The gentleman arrives.
- Give way! - shouts to the man.
“No, punk,” says the man, “you go around, but I can’t leave this place.”
The gentleman drove around, then stopped and asked:
- Hey, man, have you seen a man with a pig and piglets here?
- I saw it, sir.
- Don’t you know where he went?
- I know, punk.
- So show us the way.
- I can’t raise my hands, punk. I’ll tell you better: drive straight, then turn sharply right, then sharply left, and so on.
The gentleman asks the coachman:
- Do you understand?
- No, sir.
Pan then asks the man:
- Could you catch up with him?
- Why not catch up! I would have caught up with him in an instant!
- So catch up, I’ll pay you.
- I can’t.
- Why?
- Well, here’s the thing: my gentleman was traveling this road, met another gentleman along the way, and he gave him an overseas goldfinch. So the master told me to guard this goldfinch until he returns.
“Well, then go with my coachman, and I’ll take care of the goldfinch,” says the gentleman.
- No, sir, I can’t - if you release the goldfinch, then I’ll be in trouble.
“Well, I’ll guard him with the coachman, and you catch up alone.”
- No, I can’t...
- Well, then you have a hundred rubles - just catch up. The man thought and said:
- OK. But just watch and hold your hat tightly so that the goldfinch doesn’t fly out!
The man took a hundred rubles, got into the master's carriage and drove off. On the way, he untied the bell, drove into the forest, took the cart with Belyanka and headed home.
The gentleman and the coachman sit over his hat for an hour - there is no man, another sits - you can’t hear anyone. The coachman shook his head and said:
“The stupid lady gave the man a horse with Belyanka and the piglets, and the gentleman was even stupider: he gave three of the best horses with a carriage and a hundred rubles in addition for some overseas goldfinch.”
The gentleman got angry:
- What are you talking about, idiot! It’s impossible for a man to outsmart me! If I advertise, I’ll immediately find out whose goldfinch it is, and then I’ll find the guy too.
They sat, sat over their hats, and then it was already evening.
The coachman says:
- Sir, I'm hungry. It's time to go home. Pan also wanted to eat, and his hands were numb. He says:
- Let's take the goldfinch and go. And then I’ll find this guy! Well, I’ll raise my hat, and you grab the goldfinch.
“Oh, sir,” the coachman trembles, “I’m afraid I’ll let you out yet.”
- Well, then, raise your hat, and I’ll catch it. I'm not as smart as you!
The coachman raised his hat, and the gentleman grabbed the toad with both hands! He looked around and saw how he would scream, how he would wave his arms...
And the coachman laughs:
“I didn’t say that the lady is stupid, and the gentleman is even stupider!”
“Be quiet,” asks the coachman, “at least don’t tell the lady...
And the gentleman trudged home and ate a lot of soap.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru