There lived two quarrelsome neighbors in the same village. As soon as they saw each other, an argument began between them. And where there is a dispute, there is a quarrel, and a quarrel - everyone knows - is easier to start than to end.
And the more they quarreled, the angrier they became. It got to the point that before one had time to open her mouth, the other was ready to grab her hair.
Finally, they had nothing to argue about.
Then they reached their husbands. And their husbands were just the right match for them - even more than a few of them. So they argued about whose husband was stupider.
One says:
- Mine!
Another says:
- No, mine!
One shouts:
- Yes, my mind is no more than that of a troll!
And the other responded:
- And mine has even less intelligence than a troll!
One boasts:
“Tell my friend that the jug is an axe, and he’ll believe it.”
And the other one doesn’t give up:
- What is this! - he says. “Tell mine to plow the ground with a needle and thread - he’ll go.”
And neither this one, nor this one, yields even half a word to that one.
Then one of them says:
- Let's test which of us is more dexterous in deceiving our husband, then we will see which of them is more stupid.
That's what they decided on. They whispered about something and went home.
So the husband of one housewife returned from the forest, and she said:
-What's wrong with you, hubby? You have no face! You're sick, you see?
- What else did I come up with - I got sick! Healthy!
- No, you can’t hide anything from me! It’s immediately obvious that you’re suffering from a fever. Go to bed quickly!
- Why should I lie down! Would you serve me dinner...
- What a dinner! You can barely stand on your own. You're about to fall. The hour is uneven and the end will come.
And she lamented over him so much, fussed over him so much that he really felt uneasy: he would either feel hot or cold. And his wife keeps pressing and pressing on him. Finally she laid him down and ordered his hands to rest. cross his chest, close his eyes, runs back and forth and says:
- Oh, what a disaster! My man is dying! As it is, it dies! So he died. Completely dead. And he doesn't move.
Her husband listens and is amazed. How did he die if he hears everything? And he moves his arm and leg slowly. And there is hunting - well, right to death! So he would have eaten everything that was hidden in the pantry. There’s just nothing to think about this. Since my wife said he was dead, that means he was dead.
Meanwhile, the other housewife was up to something. As soon as she saw from the window that her husband was coming home, she sat down in the middle of the room and waved her hands in front of her, as if she were scratching wool with a comb.
- What did you come up with, wife? - says the husband. - Spinning on a spinning wheel without a wheel is just fun, and carding wool without wool is just a woman’s stupidity.
- What do you think I’m scratching? - says the wife.
“Nothing but language,” says the husband.
“It’s immediately clear that you yourself are stupid,” says the wife. “Do you have eyes?” Look, my fur is so thin! Can't find one like this anywhere. And there is no price for it. Anyone who understands would rip such fur out of my hands. And I saved it for you.
Then she moved the spinning wheel and spun the wheel.
The spinning wheel hums, and the owner moves her hands in the air, as if she were really spinning wool.
“You’re crazy,” says the husband. “Why are you spinning the wheel in vain?”
- How is this wasted? Look what a thread is coming - like a cobweb. And it’s so strong that it can’t be torn apart. It’s not without reason that they say: where it’s thin, it doesn’t break.
She finished spinning and began to weave. She twirled her hands in the air and removed the fabric that was not there from the loom. She stretched it out on the table and took up the scissors. He cuts, cuts, sews, the scissors click, and the needle flashes.
“Well,” he finally says, “here’s a new pair for you.” And she threw her hands up, as if hanging clothes on the wall.
The husband just shrugs his shoulders and doesn’t argue anymore. Maybe it’s true that his eyes don’t see well?..
The next day, the wife woke up her husband in the morning and said:
- Our neighbor, Nordigoren, died. Put on a new dress, let’s go, they’re about to bury you.
And he holds out his hands, as if giving him new clothes.
-Where are the clothes? - asks the husband.
- Where are your eyes? Put it on quickly. Why should I bother with you like a small child?
The husband began to get dressed, raised his arms and legs, lowered them, and his wife walked around him and said:
- Well, well done!
So I went outside. He himself is ashamed to appear in public, but when he hears his wife praising her work, he walks more bravely.
Here is Nordigoren's house. And the house is full of people.
Well, when those who came to pay their last respects to the deceased saw him, their sadness for the deceased did not become greater. Some snort into their fists, others laugh loudly.
And the dead man hears that everyone around him is laughing, and he couldn’t resist: he opened his eyes a little with a slit. How he burst into laughter at the top of his voice, even the coffin began to jump under him.
“This is great!” he says. “Out of grief that I died, I forgot to get dressed!”
The people all around gasped: the dead man spoke! Everyone backed out of the hut - out of harm's way - and Ula Serigoren asks his friend:
- What is this? Who put you alive in a coffin?
- Who let you leave home without clothes?
- Can you really argue with my wife? - says one. “She will not only confuse the living, but the dead.”
“Can you talk about mine,” sighed the other one. “Once you get things right, you’ll forget what world you live in.”
They talked and talked and figured out how to teach their wives a lesson. And it was the smartest thing they did in their entire lives.
And if you want to know what they came up with, ask the birch broom about it.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru