Soldier Ivanka served for twenty-five years, earned a blue ticket and went home. He only had three kopecks of money. And this soldier was a kind man, the last to share.
The bot goes, goes, a bug flies towards:
- Hello, soldier!
- Hello, bug!
- Have you served, soldier, twenty-five years?
- Served.
- Did you earn a blue ticket and three kopecks in money?
- Served it out.
- Give me a penny! I will help you in trouble.
The good soldier took it and gave him a penny. The bug picked up the penny and flew off on its way.
The soldier is walking, and he himself thinks: “Nothing, I still have two kopecks left: I’ll drink vodka for one glass, and buy shag for another.”
Just when he thought so, lo and behold, the mouse runs:
- Hello, soldier!
- Hello, mouse!
- Have you served, soldier, twenty-five years?
- Served.
- Did you earn a blue ticket and three kopecks in money?
- Served it out.
— Did you give a penny to a bug?
- Gave it.
- Give me a penny too! I will be useful to you in trouble. The good soldier gave the mouse a penny. The mouse grabbed the penny and dragged it into the hole. “Well,” the soldier thinks, moving on, “I won’t drink, I’ll buy shag for my last penny and then I’ll get there.” Just when he thought this, lo and behold, a cancer was crawling from under the bridge.
- Hello, soldier!
- Hello, cancer!
- Have you served, soldier, twenty-five years?
- Served.
- Did you earn a blue ticket and three kopecks in money?
- Served it out.
- Give me one kopeck. I will be useful to you in trouble.
He gave the soldier his last penny, and he moved on.
Comes to the capital. He sees that the royal palace is full of people. Some play trumpets and violins, others sing funny songs, others perform all sorts of tricks. A certain prince with feathers on his hat is especially trying, pushing everyone aside, rushing forward himself.
- What is this? - the soldier Ivanka asks the king’s servant.
“Well,” the servant answers, “it’s something like this: the king has one and only daughter, she hasn’t laughed in her life, and no one can make her laugh.” And the king announced that the one who makes her laugh will become her husband.
The soldier became brave, twirled his mustache and began to make his way closer to the palace: “Maybe,” he thinks, “I’ll be able to make her laugh.”
-Where are you going, dirty soldier? - the prince with feathers on his hat shouted at him. - There are enough suitors here even without you!
He grabbed him by the collar and pushed him away. The soldier tripped and fell into a muddy puddle - it had just rained heavily.
The soldier got up, wet, smeared, his entire overcoat covered in mud. “This is such a disaster!” he thinks. “How can I dry myself now? Eh, if only there were a bug, a mouse and a crab here, perhaps they would help me in trouble!” As soon as he thought so, a bug, a mouse and a crayfish suddenly appeared in front of him.
- Well, what's your problem, soldier? - they ask.
“Yes, you see for yourself,” the soldier answers.
- Take off your overcoat! The soldier took it off. The bug, the mouse and the crayfish picked up the overcoat and dragged it to the river.
The Tsar's daughter saw this from the palace and was engrossed: what kind of comedy is this?
The soldiers' assistants washed the overcoat and dragged it to the shore to dry. The crayfish stood on its neck, raised its claws, and the bug and mouse hung the overcoat on them. The cancer could not survive - it fell into the mud along with the overcoat... They again dragged the overcoat into the river to wash. They washed it and hung it again on crayfish claws. The mouse twists it, and the bug flies around and flaps its wings, whipping up the breeze so that it dries faster.
The princess looked and looked at all this and laughed. He comes to his father and says:
“None of the princes, kings or generals made me laugh, but a simple soldier made me laugh.” I will marry him.
Although the king is not happy that a simple soldier will be his son-in-law, nothing can be done.
And the soldier became the husband of the king’s daughter, but did not want to live in the palace.
“I’m not used to palaces,” he says, “I’ll live in a simple hut.” You, wife, just send me soldiers’ grub here and more makhorka.
They built him a simple hut in the royal garden, and so he stayed to live there. He lives and knows no troubles.
Meanwhile, the prince with feathers on his hat himself became a king, but he cannot forget that the king’s daughter did not marry him, but a simple soldier. He gathered his army and went to war against the king.
The king sends his daughter for a soldier - it’s time, they say, to get ready for war.
“No,” the soldier says to his wife, “I won’t go to war, I served my time - I have a blue ticket.”
The wife began to cry and she and her father went to war. And the soldier stuffed an entire eight-ounce of shag into his pipe and puffed so hard that the entire royal palace was filled with smoke. He smoked a pipe and said to himself:
- Oh, if only there were a bug, a mouse and a crayfish here! They would give me good advice on how to defeat the king.
And suddenly a bug, a mouse and a crayfish stood in front of him:
-What do you tell us, good soldier? Why did you call us?
- Yes, I would like to consult with you on how to defeat the king.
“Okay,” they say. -• We will help you. The mouse and the crayfish brought a treasure sword from the royal storerooms, and the bug flew into an open field and brought a heroic horse with a silver mane.
The horse knocked his hoof in front of the soldier and said:
- Get into my right ear, Ivanka, and get out of my left.
Ivanka climbed into the horse’s right ear, and came out into the left ear and became such a heroic fellow that it would be impossible to tell in a fairy tale or describe it with a pen.
“Now sit on me,” says the horse. Ivanka mounted a heroic horse and rode off to war. He arrives and sees that the royal army is beating the royal army.
Ivanka hit his horse on the sides with his spurs and rushed into the thick of the royal army. As soon as he waves his treasury sword, the army falls like chaff on the right side, and spreads like straw on the left. Ivanka fought all day long, from early morning until evening. He smashed the enemy army to smithereens, flew up to the king, cut off his arms right up to the shoulders and went to the king.
The king, of course, did not recognize him.
“Tell me, good fellow,” asks the king, “who are you, what is your family rank?” The soldier did not answer him.
- How can I reward you for your bravery?
“I don’t need anything,” says the soldier, “just give me your royal handkerchief as a souvenir.”
The king gave him his handkerchief.
Ivanka comes to the garden, climbs into the horse’s left ear, climbs out into the right ear and becomes the same as he was. He let the horse run free and went to his hut.
The king and his daughter returned from the war. Everywhere they are blowing trumpets, dancing, singing - everyone is so happy!
The Tsar's daughter comes to the soldier Ivanka.
“Eh,” he says, “it’s a shame you didn’t come with us!” If only I could see what was there: how many troops, and how many cannons!.. Yes, we would not have defeated the king if not for one brave knight. When he swooped in, he smashed the entire royal army to smithereens and cut off the king’s own hands right up to the shoulders. And who he is is unknown. If only my husband could be like this! Otherwise, I was unlucky, poor thing. It’s not my husband, but a bungler!
“You, wife, don’t scold me, but quickly bring the soldiers’ grub and shag,” says Ivanka.
The wife brought grub and shag. The soldier eats his food and smokes shag.
That armless king recovered and again announced that he was going to war against the king and his daughter. Yes, not alone, but with two other kings together.
The king is getting ready for war and sends his daughter to fetch her husband.
“Ah,” she says, “my dear husband, a great army is coming against our kingdom again, and three kings are leading it.” But my father is already old - he is not able to fight. Won't you go instead?
“Where should I go,” says the soldier, “I’ve already won what’s mine.”
- And if they conquer our land, then what should we do?
- They won’t conquer! That brave knight will help you.
- But we don’t know who he is and where to look for him...
- It’s okay, he’ll find you himself.
The wife began to cry and went to war with her old father. And the soldier ate all the grub, smoked all the tobacco, and said to himself:
- If only my assistants were here now - a bug, a mouse and a crayfish!
As soon as he said this, a bug, a mouse and a crayfish suddenly appeared in front of him.
-What do you tell us, good soldier?
- Yes, I want to consult with you on how to defeat the three kings.
“Okay,” the assistants tell him. - We will help you.
The mouse and the crayfish brought a new, three times larger treasure sword from the royal storerooms, and the beetle flew into an open field, into green meadows and brought from there a new heroic horse with a golden mane.
The horse stamped his hoof in front of the soldier and said:
- Get into my right ear, Ivanka, and get out of my left.
Ivanka climbed into the horse’s right ear, climbed out into the left, and became such a heroic fellow that it’s impossible to tell in a fairy tale or describe it with a pen.
“Now,” says the horse, “get on me, let’s go and defeat the royal army.”
Ivanka mounted a heroic horse and rode off to war.
He arrives, and there the royal soldiers surrounded the king and his daughter and shouted to them to surrender.
Then Ivanka crashed into the enemy army, as he began to beat him... He swings to the right, like chaff, the army is falling down, he swings to the left, like straw spreading. Whom he chops down, and whom the horse tramples with its hoof...
Ivanka fought for three days and three nights. He smashed the entire enemy army to dust, then flew up to the armless king and cut off his head.
“Now, you bastard, don’t set foot on our land again!” - says Ivanka.
And the other two kings barely escaped alive. Ivanka drove up to the royal tent. The king greeted him with joy.
- Who are you? - asks. - What is your family rank?
Ivanka didn’t answer.
“What should I reward you with, brave knight?”
“I don’t need anything,” he says, “just give me your daughter’s gold ring as a souvenir.”
The Tsar's daughter really liked the knight: she gave him her golden ring.
Ivanka mounted his horse, and only he was seen. I arrived home tired, I couldn’t even get into the horse’s left ear or out of the right ear, but like a sheaf he fell onto the grass and fell asleep in a heroic sleep.
He sleeps for a day, sleeps for a second, and the horse grazes in the garden, because the owner did not have time to let him go.
On the third day the king returned from the war.
And the feast spread throughout the capital! The music is playing, the people are having fun.
The king's daughter went out into the garden to see her husband. “He must have already died of hunger there,” she thinks.
He enters the hut and looks - no one is there. She goes back and forth and suddenly sees: a golden-maned horse is grazing in the garden, and next to him a handsome knight is sleeping.
The princess approached the knight and noticed her gold ring on his hand, and the corner of her father’s handkerchief was sticking out of his pocket...
The princess woke up the knight.
- Who are you, glorious knight? - asks.
- Like who! Your husband, soldier Ivanka! - the knight answers.
The princess was delighted that her husband had become so handsome, she took him by the hand and led him to his father.
“Here,” he says, “father, who rescued us from trouble is my husband, soldier Ivanka!”
And she showed her father her golden ring and the royal handkerchief with his mark.
Well, Ivanka no longer got into the hero’s horse’s left ear, but remained a glorious hero.
They say he still lives.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru