In ancient times, there stood on one of the hills of Gascony the small village of Saint-Gramer, named after Saint Gramer. Every year the peasants cheerfully celebrated the day of their “patron”. And really: why not have some fun once again? Even a week before the holiday, parishioners began to clean up their run-down church: they washed, scrubbed, cleaned and decorated it with garlands of paper flowers.
And then one day, while wiping off the dust, the sexton touched the statue of Saint Gramer and accidentally knocked off its hand. What to do here? Then the curate and the sexton decided to remove the statue, hide it on the edge of the village near the bean field, and on the day of the holiday put in the church instead of the statue the village blacksmith, who looked like two peas in a pod to Saint Gramer.
For ten gold crowns, the blacksmith agreed to climb into the niche where the statue of the saint was usually located and stand, without moving, for the entire morning service.
In the morning, tons of people crowded into the church. The blacksmith stands in a niche and does not move. But, as luck would have it, he treated himself to honey in the morning and forgot to wipe his lips. And then, out of nowhere, a fly flew up to him: hovering, buzzing, biting - well, he simply has no strength! Then the blacksmith began to slowly move his lips to drive away the persistent fly.
Maybe no one would have noticed this if there had not been an old grandmother and granddaughter among the parishioners. The grandmother was somewhat blind, but the granddaughter immediately noticed that for some reason Saint Gramer was moving his lips. She was incredibly surprised and nudged the grandmother with her elbow:
- Grandma, oh grandma! Look, the saint is spanking with his lips!
- Shut up, stupid! “You don’t know what you’re saying with your tongue,” the grandmother shushed her.
The granddaughter fell silent, but still did not take her eyes off the saint... That’s right: the saint is moving his lips!
“Look, grandma...” she whispered again. “After all, he really spanks with his lips...”
This time the old woman did not say anything, but only looked more closely at the saint. And suddenly it seemed to her that his lips were really moving.
- Holy, holy!.. Am I imagining this, old me? Let me prick him in the leg with a needle...
She came closer to “Gramer” and how she pricked him with a needle! Here the blacksmith howled in pain, jumped out of the niche and, making his way through the crowd, rushed home in all his holy vestments. The parishioners saw such an amazing miracle and froze with their mouths open: he was a saint, but he swam!
And when they woke up, they began to whisper, glance at each other and wink. Well, what about the curé? At first, he was confused, realizing that his trick had failed, and even got seriously angry. But don’t be angry, you have to look for a way out. So what do you think? Still, he found a way out, the cunning one!
He looked around at the excited parishioners, squinted and rained down heavenly thunder on their heads. He remembered all their sins and transgressions for ten whole years and explained that Saint Gramer fled because of their godless actions. The peasants became silent here, and the priest said:
“We will be lost without his help if he leaves us.” Therefore, brothers, let us go to look for him, and having found him, we will beg him to return.
“Come on, let’s go!” the parishioners made a noise and rushed to the door.
But then the priest threw his hands up and shouted at the top of his voice:
“Where can we find you, Saint Gramer?”
And in response, the melodious tenor of the sexton, hiding behind the altar, was heard:
- Look for me in the bean field! In the bean field!
The parishioners rushed to the bean field and actually found a statue of the saint there, but, alas, with a broken arm.
- Where did his hand go? - a peasant timidly asked the priest.
The priest looked at the peasant sternly:
- Well, you are stupid, brother! - he says. - After all, he didn’t just leave us, but ran with other saints to fight in order to defend you, sinners, from their attacks. So they knocked off his hand in a fight. It's clear?..
There is no point in arguing, only a fool would not understand this.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru