One old man had three sons. The eldest was called Per, the middle was Paul, and the youngest was Espen, nicknamed Sloth. Although, to tell the truth, all three were decent lazy people. They didn’t want to do anything because, you see, they were too good for any work, and for them, any work was too bad.
Once the elder brother Per heard that the king was looking for a shepherd for his hares, and said:
- This is the job for me! No worries, no hassle. Hares are not cows or horses: you can’t bathe them, don’t give them water, don’t give them food... And it’s not a small honor - after all, you serve the king himself!
His father began to dissuade him.
- Where are you going to get hired as a shepherd, son! Herding hares is not like counting jackdaws in the sky. You’re lying on a bed from morning to evening, so you’re too lazy to turn from side to side, but if you go to work as a hare shepherd, you just have time to turn in all directions.
But no matter how much my father spoke, he only wasted his words.
If Per got something into his head, then so be it. He threw the travel bag over his shoulders and went to hire himself to the king.
He walked and walked and went so far that it seemed there was nowhere to go. Suddenly he sees: there is a stump right next to the road, and near the stump is an old woman. The old woman is marking time in one place, but cannot move away, as if someone had tied her. Only, in fact, no one tied her, but her nose just got caught in the crevice, and her mouth couldn’t move away from the stump.
When Per saw this, let’s laugh!
The old woman got angry.
- Why are you baring your teeth? — he says. “You’d better help me.” A hundred years have already passed, and I can’t see anything further than my nose. I didn’t hold a crumb in my mouth, I didn’t taste the poppy dewdrop.
Per laughed more than ever.
- This is so much fun!.. Well, if you have endured for a hundred years, then you can endure for another hundred! - said Per. And he moved on.
He came to the royal castle and demanded to be taken straight to the king.
The king sat on a golden throne wearing a crown and robe.
He graciously accepted Per, and they quickly agreed on everything. Per was not required to do any work, just herd hares, and the king gave him food and salary directly from the king. True, the king said that if even one hare from his royal herd disappeared, three belts would be cut out of Per’s back, and he himself would be thrown alive into a snake pit. Well, Pera was not so easily intimidated. He didn’t even listen to this and immediately demanded a royal dinner for himself.
The next day Per went to graze the hares.
The hares turned out to be obedient and meek, like lambs.
They walked decorously through the meadow, and not one strayed even half a step from the herd. But as soon as Per reached the forest, the hares, as if a pack of hounds were rushing after them, rushed in all directions in all directions. Per was knocked off his feet, chasing after them, but where is it! Can you catch the hare?
Per ran all day through the hills and mountains, but did not catch even the smallest hare.
So he returned to the royal castle alone, without a herd.
And in the castle the executioner was already waiting for him with a sharp knife in his hands. The executioner cut three belts from Per's back and threw him into the snake pit.
In a word, what the king promised, Per received.
A little time passed, and the middle brother Paul began to get ready for the journey. I also wanted an easy job.
No matter how hard his father tried to dissuade him! But Paul, like Per, did not listen to him. Paul threw his travel bag behind his back and went to hire himself as a royal shepherd.
Well, it’s not worth talking about this for a long time. Everything that happened to Per happened to Paul.
On the way, he saw the same old woman and wished her, like his older brother, to stand without moving for another hundred years.
Then he came to the royal castle, hired himself as a shepherd, in the morning he left the castle gates with a whole herd, and in the evening he returned to the royal castle without a single hare.
Well, then everything happened exactly as with his older brother: three belts were cut out of Paul’s back, and he himself was thrown into a snake pit.
It's time for Espen to get ready to go.
- Why am I worse than my brothers? - says Espen. - Herding hares is not a difficult task. Lie down, lie down, bask in the sun and look around. It would be a sin to refuse such work.
- What are you talking about, son! - his father tells him. “Don’t mind your own business, this work is not for you.” For such an animal as a hare, you have to fly like a bird, not just run. And you, like a fly stuck to resin, crawl around. It’s like you have weights tied to your feet. Catching a hare is not like killing a flea with a mitten. You will disappear, just like your older brothers disappeared. It would be better if you stayed at home. And there will be work here too.
But Espen did not listen to his father. Without hesitation, he threw the travel bag over his shoulders and hit the road.
He walked and walked and became quite hungry. Suddenly he sees a stump standing by the road.
“I’ll sit on this stump and have a little refreshment,” Espen thinks.
It fits - what a miracle! — the old woman’s nose grew into the stump.
- Good afternoon, grandma! - says Espen. “Why are you standing here?” Are you sharpening your nose?
- What is it - I'm sharpening my nose! “I wanted to chop some wood for myself and cook dinner,” says the old woman, “and by chance my nose fell into the crack.” I’ve been standing near this stump for a hundred years, I haven’t drunk or eaten for a hundred years, and no one has taken pity on me, you were the first to say a kind word. Do me a service, good man, help me get my nose out, and I will thank you, I will not remain in debt.
Well, Espen quickly threw off the bag, drove a thick wedge into the crevice of the stump - the old woman and pulled the nose out of the crevice.
“Now, grandma,” says Espen, “let’s have a bite.” It's time to have breakfast now.
Espen took bread and lard out of the bag and handed it to the old woman.
You understand, there was no need to persuade her - after a hundred years she was quite hungry!
The old woman ate properly and said:
- Well, guy, you took pity on me, saved me from trouble, and I will take pity on you, save you from trouble. Here, take this pipe. This pipe is not simple. If you whistle in one direction, everyone will immediately run away from you; if you whistle in the other direction, everyone will come running back to you. And besides, this pipe will never be lost: whether you sell it, or drop it, or lure it away from you, it will still return to you.
- What a gift! - says Espen. “Thank you, grandma!”
He tucked the pipe deeper into his bosom - because even though it was magical, even though no one could steal it, it was still better to hide it away from prying eyes - then he said goodbye to the old woman and went his way.
He comes to the royal castle, and there they were waiting for him. The king immediately hired him as a shepherd, gave him a good salary and even promised to give him the princess for him if only he would properly herd the hares. “Well, if you don’t protect the herd,” said the king, “then blame yourself: they will cut three straps from your back, and you yourself will be thrown into a snake pit.”
- Well, I agree! - said Espen. “Now let me have dinner quickly, otherwise I’m very hungry from the road.”
Espen ate, slept, and in the morning, at first light, he led the hares to the meadow. Yes, before leaving the castle gates, he says to the royal servants:
“Come on, count your birds, so that there won’t be any unnecessary arguments and conversations later.”
“What is there to count,” the servants tell him, “they have been counted for a long time.” Exactly ninety-nine birds with one stone.
- Well, ninety-nine is ninety-nine.
Espen left.
And the king, as soon as the gates closed behind him, ordered the knife to be sharpened immediately, and sharper! The king knew very well that no shepherd could protect the hares, whether there were ninety-nine, or a hundred, or ten, it didn’t matter.
Meanwhile, Espen calmly grazed his hares.
The hares walked through the meadow so decorously and obediently, as if they were not hares, but quiet sheep. Not one will fight back, not one will break out, everyone is huddled together, one holds on to the other.
So little by little, little by little, Espen and his herd walked to the edge of the forest. And then it was as if some demon had possessed the hares - they all scattered.
But Espen didn’t really grieve.
“Download,” he says, “for your health, wherever your sidelong eyes look.”
He took out his pipe and whistled after the hares so that they would get away and not flash before his eyes.
And he calmly lay down on the grass and slept all day.
In the evening, when the sun hid behind the mountains, Espen took out his pipe again and just whistled once when all the hares came running onto the lawn.
Not only did they come running, but they also lined up in rows, exactly like soldiers on parade.
- Well, now - march! - Espen commanded and led the hares to the royal castle.
At this very time, the king, queen and princess came out of their chambers to watch how the executioner would deal with Espen.
And suddenly they see Espen walking along the road, and behind him, safe and sound, is a herd of hares.
Everyone was so surprised that they couldn’t believe their eyes. And there was something to be surprised about!
The hares walked in step, like soldiers, and Espen walked ahead and played a march on the pipe.
At the castle gates, Espen stopped and commanded:
- One! Two! Attention!
And the hares, stamping their paws, stopped and froze.
At this point the king could not stand it and, forgetting about his royal dignity, began to count the hares himself.
No matter how hard he tried! And he counted from right to left, and from left to right, and from beginning to end, and from end to beginning, and yet there were exactly ninety-nine hares, no matter where you count, and not one less.
Then the queen and princess also began to count the hares. But this did not help one bit - there were exactly ninety-nine hares.
“I see you are a good shepherd,” the king grumbled and, without looking at Espen, went into the castle. The king was very unhappy.
And the princess thought:
“Well done, so well done!” — and looked tenderly at Espen.
The next day Espen went into the forest again with his herd.
He scattered the hares away so that they would not flash before his eyes, and he again lay down on the grass.
The sun was warmly shining, there were so many strawberries all around that Espen, without leaving his seat, collected whole handfuls of them, at his side he had a bag filled to the brim with baked, salted, and fried goods, and in his pocket lay a magic pipe.
It seems like it could be better! Indeed, Espen could not have asked for anything better!
Meanwhile, the king did not know a single quiet moment. He even refused breakfast and kept thinking and wondering how Espen managed to collect all the birds.
And since he still couldn’t figure it out, he decided to do this: send a maid of honor to Espen so that she would find out his secret from Espen.
The maid of honor was not very happy about this assignment.
Have you ever heard of the first lady-in-waiting of the royal court talking to a simple shepherd? But the king did not like to be argued with, so she had to go.
From hummock to hummock, from flower to flower, like a dragonfly, she jumped across the lawn and finally reached the edge of the forest.
She started the conversation from afar.
- Good afternoon, Espen!
- Good afternoon, maid of honor!
- Isn’t it so nice the weather, Espen!
- You’re right, great weather, maid of honor!
- And the birds sing so well!
- They sing beautifully, maid of honor!
The maid of honor fell silent, not knowing what else to say.
And Espen was silent.
- Listen, Espen, what are you doing here? - the maid of honor finally asked.
— As you can see, I’m herding hares.
“But they all ran away,” the maid of honor laughed. “I don’t see a single one.”
“Well, they ran away,” said Espen. “When it’s necessary, I’ll call them, and they’ll all come running to me.”
- This is amazing! - exclaimed the maid of honor. - And why do the hares obey you?
“But they don’t listen to me, but to my pipe,” said Espen. “Well, look for yourself.”
Espen blew his pipe, and sure enough, all the hares immediately ran to the lawn.
- If you want, I’ll blow it again, and all the hares will scatter again.
Espen blew again, and sure enough, all the hares ran away.
“Oh, Espen, what a charm this pipe is,” exclaimed the maid of honor. “Will you sell it?” I will gladly give you a hundred thalers for this pipe.
“A hundred thalers is probably not enough for such a pipe,” said Espen.
- What are you talking about, Espen! You still need to have a conscience! Just think - a hundred thalers! You probably never dreamed of such money!
- What is true is true - I have never seen more than one thaler, either in a dream or in reality. Well, okay, give me a hundred thalers, and in addition, take off my boots. It's so hot that you don't feel like moving.
- Wow, how angry the maid of honor was!
- Ignorant! Rude! How dare you!.. For me, the first maid of honor of the royal court, to take off the boots of some shepherd!..
“But I’m not forcing you,” said Espen. “If you don’t want to, don’t.” But I won’t give up the pipe otherwise.
The maid of honor almost cried with frustration.
No, she will never take the boots off this ignoramus!
Firstly, she is a noble lady, the first maid of honor at the king's court.
Secondly, someone might see this, and then all the courtiers will laugh at her...
But whatever you say, you can’t return to the castle without a pipe.
She looked around. There was no one anywhere.
- Give me your foot here! - the maid of honor said decisively.
She closed her eyes tightly so that she couldn’t even see what she was doing, and pulled off Espen’s boots - first the left one, then the right one.
Finally it was all over.
The maid of honor counted out one hundred thalers, received a pipe in return and, very pleased that everything had turned out so well, ran home.
But things didn't turn out so well. When the maid of honor came to the castle, she did not have a pipe.
She was ready to swear on anything that she had not lost her pipe, but still she did not have a pipe.
And this is not surprising. After all, the maid of honor did not know that this pipe was the most magical of all the magic pipes in the world and that it always returns to its owner, no matter who takes it, no matter where it is hidden.
And so it happened. Not even five minutes had passed after the maid of honor had left, and the pipe was already in Espen’s pocket, and when evening came, he again gathered all the hares and brought them to the royal castle - every single one!
The next day, the king and queen decided to send a princess to Espen:
“She’ll lure the pipe away from Espen,” said the queen.
The princess immediately got down to business.
“Listen, Espen,” she said in a voice as gentle as the song of a lark, “I know you are so kind that you will not refuse my request.” My maid of honor said that you have a wonderful pipe. Sell me this pipe! I'll give you two hundred talers for it.
“I wouldn’t give such a pipe to anyone for a thousand thalers,” said Espen. “But so be it, I’ll give it to you, beautiful princess, for two hundred, just in addition, fill my pipe and light it well.”
- You seem to have gone crazy! - the princess shouted and even stamped her foot. “I will tell my father to cut off your head today.” You forget that I am a princess!
“Well, what about the princess,” Espen said calmly. “And you don’t have such a pipe.”
“That’s right,” thought the princess. Then she thought a little more and said:
- Well, okay, give me the phone here.
The princess had to work hard before she lit her pipe. The bitter smoke caused tears to flow from her eyes, and her nose tickled so much that she sneezed at least twenty-seven times. And that’s not much, after all, she was a real princess, and princesses, as you know, don’t smoke pipes.
Finally the nasty pipe lit up, the princess gave Espen two hundred thalers, received the pipe and ran home.
All the way she clenched the fist in which she held the pipe so tightly that even her hand went numb. And yet, when the princess returned to the castle, it turned out that she did not have the pipe, as if it had slipped through her fingers.
Then the queen herself decided to go to the shepherd.
It must be said that the queen was stingy and never threw money away, but here she immediately, without haggling, promised Espen three hundred thalers.
But even this was not enough for Espen. He wanted the queen to clean his jacket more.
At first, the queen flatly refused and even frightened the shepherd with a snake ditch.
But the pipe had to be obtained at all costs. What could the queen do but agree? And she agreed.
True, the queen cleaned her jacket very poorly, but you couldn’t ask much from her - after all, she was a queen.
Having received the pipe, she tied it tightly in her silk handkerchief, and hid the handkerchief in her lace sleeve.
But this did not help at all, and when the queen returned to the castle, the scarf was in place, and it was still tied, but there was no pipe in it.
At this point the king became completely angry.
- What nonsense! I see that no one in my kingdom knows how to do anything. I'll have to go myself. Otherwise we will never get this stupid pipe.
And so the next morning the king went into the forest.
He nodded graciously to Espen and easily sat down on the grass next to him.
The king treated Espen to his royal tobacco and even let him take a puff from his royal pipe. They talked like the best of friends, and no one would have said that one of them was a king and the other a shepherd.
When all the pleasantries were completed, the king finally got down to business.
“Listen, Espen,” he said, blowing smoke in rings, “they say you have some kind of pipe.”
“Yes, there is,” said Espen. “It’s true, it’s not gold, but not a single king would refuse such a pipe.”
And he pulled it out of his pocket.
The pipe, and it’s true, was unprepossessing in appearance.
The king looked at her for a long time and, just to be sure, even tried her magical powers. He blew in one direction and all the hares ran away; he blew in the other and all the hares ran away.
“Yes, it’s an excellent pipe,” said the king. “I understand that you won’t give it away for nothing.” But I am a king and I act like a king in everything: I give you a thousand thalers for this pipe.
“A thousand thalers is, of course, not a little, but for such a pipe, even a thousand thalers is a small price.” Well, here’s the thing: see, there’s a white horse grazing in the meadow?
- Certainly. This is my royal horse. If you want, I'll give it to you in addition.
- No, keep it for yourself. What I want is this: give me a thousand thalers and kiss this horse, then the pipe will be yours.
The king was very embarrassed.
- Listen, Espen, is it possible to come up with some other condition?
“No, I don’t agree to anything else,” Espen said and yawned lazily.
- Well, can I kiss the horse through the silk scarf?
- Through a scarf? - Espen thought about it. - Is he royal?
- Well, of course, royal. He is mine, and I am the king, which means the scarf is royal.
- Okay, I agree to this. Kiss through the scarf.
And now - just imagine! — the king approached the horse, covered its muzzle with his royal scarf and loudly kissed the horse three times.
After that, he counted out a thousand thalers to Espen, took the pipe, put it in his wallet, put the wallet in his pocket, and buttoned the pocket. And not just any buttons, but royal ones, because the king even has royal buttons.
Returning to the castle, the king called the queen, princess and maid of honor, unbuttoned his pocket, took out his wallet, opened it - and what do you think? - the pipe was no longer in him.
It was too much!
The king was so angry that he decided to execute Espen immediately.
The queen was in complete agreement with the king, and this did not happen very often.
And so, when Espen brought the herd to the castle in the evening, the king told him that today he would be executed.
Espen was very surprised.
“This is unfair,” he said. “I regularly herded the hare herd, and now you should not execute me, but give me your daughter as a wife.”
“It’s nothing,” the king answered, “I said execution, which means I’ll execute.” I am a king, and my royal word is unchangeable. Is it just this: if you manage to tell a whole barrel of lies, so that the lies flow over the edge, then I will probably have mercy on you.
- Well, it's as easy as shelling pears! - said Espen. “Just order the barrel to be rolled out.”
And he began to talk about everything that happened to him: how he went to hire himself as a shepherd, how he met an old woman on the road who pinched her nose, how he helped her pull out her nose and received a magic pipe as a reward for this.
Everyone laughed a lot at the tales that Espen composed.
“And so,” Espen said, “the first maid of honor of the royal court came to me and began to ask for this pipe.” She wanted this pipe so much that she even agreed to serve me and took off my boots - first the left one, then the right one!
- It's not true! - the maid of honor shouted.
And all the courtiers shouted:
- It's not true!
- Well, maybe first the right one, and then the left one! Espen said.
- It's not true! Not true! He's still lying! - the maid of honor shouted, almost crying.
“But I’m ordered to tell lies,” said Espen. “I have to fill a whole barrel with lies!” Better listen to what happened next. The next day the princess came to me. To get the magic pipe, she had to fill and light my pipe...
- This is a lie! How dare you! - the princess shouted.
“Well, of course, it’s a lie,” said Espen. “You can’t fill a barrel with truth, so I spin who knows what... And then the queen herself came to me...
“It seems the barrel is already quite full,” said the queen, looking at Espen with concern.
“Eh, no, far from over yet,” said the king.
“Well, if you’re not on top, you still have to lie,” said Espen. “So, the queen herself came to me.” She haggled and dressed up as if at a market, and yet she had to shell out three hundred thalers and clean my jacket.
All the courtiers froze, and Espen asked as if nothing had happened:
- Well, how is it - is the barrel full already?
“It’s full, completely full,” the king said hastily.
“No, no, not on top yet,” the queen said decisively.
Espen scratched the back of his head.
- What else could I come up with? Ah, I know!
After everyone else, the king came to me. And just at that time his white horse was grazing in the meadow...
- Stop! Stop! - the king shouted. “Don’t you see, lies are pouring over the edge!”
So the king had to give the princess to a simple shepherd, and in addition give half of the kingdom, so that Espen Sloth would live there as he pleased, and would not even look at his royal half.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru