On the island of Zealand, near Lake Arre, there lived an old bachelor; His name was Per, and his nickname was Skvalyga. He inherited a rich estate and a bunch of brand new dealers. But Per was so greedy that he was afraid to get married.
“Well, how can I get such a wife that she won’t be able to properly run the household and will let all my property go down the drain!” - he thought.
And he also got it into his head that women were real eaters. Day after day they only know what to eat and eat: now they’ll grab a piece here, now there. Before you have time to look back, they will eat all your stuff.
When Per thinks about it, he starts to tremble!
Well, if we take it on the other hand, he still can’t manage without help on the estate, and he also needs to feed the damn workers!
Pera was overcome by dark thoughts, and no one had ever seen the rich man having fun. Day and night he looked for ways to live cheaper and spend less.
Per was already getting old, and the aches in his bones began to bother him. And there is no one to look after him. And Per, in his old age, became a hunter of chatting, but he also had no one to exchange a word with. So it occurred to Peru that it might not be a bad idea to get married. Let his wife look after everything in the household and let him, Pera, rest in his old age. You just need to find a wife who is not a glutton, who eats less and works more. Otherwise, there is no reason to take a wife; it will be very expensive.
One poor man, Husman, heard that Per had decided to get married. And that Husman had a daughter named Grete. So the poor man began to persuade his daughter to marry Per and help her family get out of poverty. Greta was stubborn at first. And even then, to say: after all, the old man is not God knows what a godsend for a young pretty girl!
And then Grete thought about her brothers and sisters: “They are always sitting there hungry! And they don’t even see new clothes! I’ll go get Per. At least it will be good for mine.”
It was only necessary for Per to believe that Grete did not eat enough. So Greta and her father agreed on what to tell the rich man.
And now you’ll find out what happened next.
One morning Per-Skvalyga walked past Husman's shack and looked at Grete grazing geese by the side of the road. She grazes geese and knits stockings as she goes, and she keeps saying:
- Geese, dear ones, go ahead! The one who doesn’t eat or drink grazes you!
Per-squally heard those words, and he froze. He stands there, blinks his half-blind eyes and doesn’t believe his ears. And Grete repeats to herself:
- Geese, dear ones, go ahead! The one who doesn’t eat or drink grazes you!
-Who doesn’t eat or drink? - asks Per.
- Yes I am! - Grete answers.
- Have you ever heard of this? How can you not eat or drink?!
“There are seven hungry mouths at home, but there is only enough food for six.” So I got used to almost doing without food at all.
- What do you live for then?
- And with air! My father drilled holes in the pillar that stands in the middle of the room, so I suck the air out of them. Apparently you can live on air!
- And you’re not that skinny! - said Per.
He cleared his throat and said:
“Maybe you’ve heard that I’ve decided to get married.” I just need a wife who will look after everything. You are a pretty girl and I really like you. Tell me, do you want to become the mistress of the estate?
- Why not! - Grete answered.
They got married, and Greta moved to the rich man’s estate. Per-skvalyga put a pillar in the middle of the room, drilled holes in it so that Greta could suck air from them and feed on that air.
A little time passed, and one day Per said to his worker Nils:
- It seems to me that my wife has grown fat! Isn't she fed by chance in the cookery? How can I find out about this?
“That’s it, master,” Nils answers. “Let me put you in the chimney, and from there you can peep into the kitchen to see if Grete is eating anything there?”
- Cleverly invented! - Per was delighted. - Let's sit you down!
Nils led the owner into the chimney, and Per sat down there on the board; sits as if in a cradle.
Meanwhile, Nils went to the hostess and said:
- Be careful, don’t eat anything in the cookhouse, the owner is sitting in the chimney!
- OK! - said Grete.
Grete knew before that Per was a bad guy. I just wanted to help her. That's why I went for him. And when she saw enough of her richest people starving to death, she decided to teach this moneybag a lesson. The workers and maids in the estate were all on her side. If it weren’t for Grete, they would have died of hunger. She secretly fed them all.
So Greta called the maids and ordered:
- Get some damp wood and green branches and put them on the hearth!
Such fuel, of course, produces more smoke and soot than heat!
And when Nils realized that the owner had gotten pretty dirty in the chimney, he climbed onto the roof right up to the ridge and pulled Per out into the light of day. Now Per-skvalyg looked like a smoked leg of lamb; and couldn’t utter a word, let alone bark. Peru had to go to bed immediately.
- Well, did she eat anything in the cookery? - Nils asked the owner.
“No, she didn’t eat anything there,” answered Per-skalyga.
Some time passed, and again Per said:
“It seems to me, Nils, that Grete has become even more vigorous.” Her cheeks are round, and she herself is like a barrel, so portly and smooth. Isn't she being fed something? How can I find out about this?
“Here’s what,” says Nils, “maybe she’s upstairs in the cage enjoying various dishes.” Let's rip open the big feather bed that's in the cage, I'll push you in there and sew you up again. And you poke a hole in the feather bed and peek. That’s how you’ll find out if the owner is feeding anything in the cage.
- Cleverly invented! - Per was delighted. - Let's cut it apart!
The owner's worker sewed the owner into a large feather bed, and he went to Greta and said:
“Don’t you dare think of anything up there in the cage, there’s the owner sewn up in a feather bed.”
- OK! - said Grete.
She called the maids and said:
- Drag the beds out of the cage into the sun and beat them well! They haven't been ventilated for a long time. They lie there and become covered with mold.
The maids - don't be stupid - immediately realized what was happening. They laugh, burst out laughing, and drag the beds themselves down. And the large feather bed, even though it was heavy, was also dragged into the yard. The maids beat her, beat her as hard as they can, and they themselves sing merry songs. The maids knocked out the beds, and then they were dragged upstairs again.
Nils rescued Pera the wretched man from the feather bed, but there was no living space on him: he could neither walk nor crawl.
- Well, did she eat anything in the cage? - asks Nils.
“No, she didn’t eat anything there,” Per groans.
He had to go back to bed, and he was ill for a whole week. Grete follows him carefully, and she reprimands him:
“If you had listened to me, Per, you would have eaten like I eat, and you would have been healthy.”
A little time passed, but when Per recovered from the beatings that were given to him, he called Nils again and said:
“It seems to me that your mistress is still feeding herself with something.” Her cheeks are so round, they're about to burst. You can't put on so much fat with air alone. How can we find out everything exactly?
“Yes, you set the task,” says Nils-Koli, since she doesn’t feed in either the kitchen or the cage and no one has ever seen her eat, I can’t imagine where she’s hiding. Or maybe she is feeding in the cellar? You know what, there is an old beer tub there, so you climb in there and look through the hole where the sleeve is inserted. This is how you find out if she is hiding in the cellar, if she is feeding there.
- Cleverly invented! - says Per.
He climbed into the tub. Nils covered it with a lid, and he went to Greta and said:
“Don’t even think about eating anything in the cellar, the owner is sitting there in a beer tub, peeking through a hole.”
- OK! - said Grete.
She called the maids and said:
- Heat up some water and bring some lye! The old beer tub in the cellar stinks so much that it takes your breath away.
Pour the water and lye into the tub through the hole, let the tub stand and soak until it becomes clean.
The maids burst out laughing and quickly got down to business. They poured water into a tub and left the cellar. Here Nils took the lid off the tub and saved Pera the Squalor from death. And then he almost choked.
However, the maid's master was still scalded. I had to put him to bed, lubricate him with healing ointments and bandage him with rags. Per was ill for exactly a month.
And Grete follows him and says:
- These trips are not good for you - you always return home sick.
Whenever Per gets ready to spy on his wife, he lies to her that he is leaving on a long trip.
While Per was ill, the last of the cattle at Nils's house died. And Per had two fat oxen standing in his stable. So Grete says to Nils:
“Listen, Nils, you served me faithfully; take these oxen, go with them to the fair in Frederiksborg and sell them, and keep the money for yourself or give it to your old parents. You have become very poor!
Nils did just that.
Meanwhile, Per the skvalyga began to go out into the yard. Even though he was in pain, he still walks around the yard, leans on a stick and watches how the maids manage the housework. He once went into the barn and missed those fat oxen. With all his strength he hobbled into the kitchen. And there Grete sits by the fire and watches so that the water from the cauldron does not boil away.
-Where are the oxen? - asks Per.
“I ate them,” Grete answers.
“How I ate it,” says Per. -Are you out of your mind?!
“But I was drawn to food,” says Grete without blinking an eye. - The belly demands its own. Previously, I restrained myself and fed on air. But all for the time being!
“My oxen, my oxen,” Per whined, “where are my oxen?” They could have been sold.
“I ate them,” Grete answers again, “with horns and hooves.” True, it was difficult to swallow them, but it all went away. The only problem is that I didn’t eat enough. True, we still have eleven piglets and twenty-three sheep left. If you don’t get the maids to shear the sheep so that the wool doesn’t tickle my throat, I’ll eat them skinned.
When Per heard such speeches, he lost his mind and fell to the ground. I had to drag him to bed and call a doctor to see him, but there was no cure for his illness.
The end of Peru the wretched man came here, they buried him, and Greta laid a heavy slab on his grave. And what money went into this stove! Oh, and Per would be angry to death if he were alive!
Grete married Nils, and they still live in joy and fun.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru