The peasant lived in the village, and the king lived in the capital, Madrid. The village was far from Madrid, and, of course, the king had not heard anything about the peasant. But the peasant knew a lot about the king.
He knew that the king lived in a huge palace, that he ate the best food, that it was served to him in gold, that he had many servants and everyone was afraid of him - not only servants, even ministers dressed in silk and velvet. “And of course, this king is as tall as a giant!” the peasant thought so. “If he weren’t so tall and strong, why would people be afraid of him!” In a word, the peasant wanted to marvel at the king, to look at him with his own eyes.
He came to his wife and said:
“Marianne, shouldn’t I go to the king’s capital to have a look?” What do you say to this?
“I’ll tell you that you’re the last fool, and I won’t give you money for the journey,” the wife answered judiciously. “We have only three reals in the house, by winter we need to buy both, and the king will do without you!”
What a shame! The peasant sees that it is not easy to come to an agreement with his wife. And he thinks: “How could it be wrong! After all, I’m not young, and I still haven’t seen the king. If I don’t go to Madrid now, I won’t have to look at the king!”
There is nothing to do - he resorted to cunning. The next day he came to his wife again, moaning:
- Wife, my tooth hurts! You have to run to the barber: let him pull you out! - And he holds his cheek with his hand.
The wife knew that her husband’s teeth often hurt. I believed it and regretted it:
- So what's the matter? Go!
- Yes, the barber lives in Madrid!
- In Madrid?
And the husband fell to the floor and screamed:
- Oh, I can’t stand it, it hurts so much!
The hostess got scared:
- Here's three reals for you. Run now and come back quickly!
The peasant grabbed the money and walked out the door.
He walks along the road, rejoices, and sings songs. But we know that the village is not close to the capital. The peasant walked for three days, and in three days he ate almost all his money: there was only half a real left!
I came to Madrid - there was a crush in the square. The people are noisy, the horses are galloping - they almost knocked them off their feet.
- What's happened?
- The king is leaving the church!
The peasant squeezed closer, saw: courtiers, ministers, advisers were coming out of the doors, and here was the king himself!
- Eviva! Live for many years! - the people shouted.
And the peasant even spat out of frustration:
- What a king! Nothing to see! And not a giant at all. True, he has a lot of gold on him: gold on his chest, gold on his shoulders, gold on his hat, gold everywhere, and he’s as tall as everyone else! What a surprise! - the peasant got angry.
I wanted to eat. I went to the market.
I counted the money and searched all my pockets: half a real, and no more! And then the tooth actually started to hurt.
A peasant stopped in front of a pie maker’s shop, and the seller was working hard - praising his product at the top of his lungs:
— Baked pies,
Sweet, flaky.
It couldn't be tastier
For a dozen - half real!
The peasant’s eyes lit up: “These are pies! I’ve never eaten these! I would buy them with all my money, but I can’t - my tooth hurts. If I don’t pull out a tooth, I won’t be able to reach the village, and if I don’t eat, I won’t be able to drag my legs home either!”
So he stood and thought and kept looking at the butter pies, but did not notice how three young gentlemen approached. Cloaks to the toes, hats with feathers, in a word - noble gentlemen. They saw a man standing there, staring wide-eyed at the food, and decided to laugh at him.
- Hey you, village! - the lords shouted to him. “How many pies will you eat in one sitting?”
- Me? - the peasant responded, but he didn’t take his eyes off the pies. “I’ll eat at least a hundred!”
- A hundred? - the senors were surprised.
- And I’ll ask again!
How they began to laugh:
“We won’t believe you for anything.” You can't eat hundreds!
- I'll eat! Why not eat it?
An argument ensued. The peasant repeats: I’ll eat and eat! And the gentlemen have theirs: you’ll never eat it! People gathered. They laugh and also shout, some: “He’ll eat it!”, others: “He won’t eat it for anything!”
Finally the lords say:
- You bet you'll eat it. And we will pay for all the pies.
What kind of mortgage does the peasant have? It was then that he realized, he said to the lords:
- Okay! Let's bet it! If I don’t eat it, do whatever you want with me. If you want, beat me, if you want, whatever: I won’t spare anything for an argument. Here’s a tooth, you see,” and he shows them his bad tooth. “If I don’t eat a hundred, let the barber of Madrid pull out my tooth!”
- Eat, start! — the lords burst out laughing. “You fool, you’ll be without a tooth!”
The crowd parted and looked: a peasant approached the pies, one ate it slowly, and reached for the other.
- One! - the lords think.
And he already swallowed the second one.
“Second!” shouts the crowd. “Third!” Fourth!
But the peasant wastes no time - he puts the pies in his mouth.
- Tenth! - the seniors shout.
- Tenth! - the people shout.
- Twentieth!
- Twentieth!
And the peasant eats and eats.
- Why is he bottomless? - the crowd laughs.
- Twenty-fifth! - the lords think.
But the peasant had already eaten. It's a joke - I ate twenty-five mince pies! And the pirogito is bigger than each other! He ate it and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
“Sorry,” he said, “seniors, I lost!”
I can't eat a hundred.
What happened here!
- Lost! - the crowd made a noise.
- Lost! - the lords were delighted. - Call the barber quickly!
And the barber is already right there with his tongs.
Seeing him, the peasant made such a sad face that the lords laughed even louder.
- Open your mouth! - they shout.
As if reluctantly, the peasant opened his mouth, and the barber grabbed the tooth and started dragging. The barber drags, the peasant screams, and the lords laugh. The louder he screams, the more fun he laughs. Finally the barber pulled out the tooth.
The lords paid for the pies, paid the barber as much as he needed, and said to the people who were still crowding around:
- Have you seen the fool? He lost his tooth for some pies!
And the peasant responded:
- Well, no, I'm not stupid at all. Have you been left in the cold, dear gentlemen?
- How dare you?!
— Did you pay for the pies?
- They paid.
- And the barber was paid?
- In full.
- So thank you. After all, my tooth actually hurt! And now I’m both full and healthy. You saved me from two misfortunes at once: hunger and a bad tooth!
He said and went his way.
The gentlemen pulled their hats down to their very eyes and ran out of the square.
And they were followed by laughter, whistles and ridicule.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru