Padishah Akbar was a great lover of jokes. And Birbal did not lag behind him, he was also a hunter of all sorts of fun and tricks.
One day the padishah and Birbal were talking cheerfully, and the padishah said:
- Birbal! It's been a long time since you came up with new fun. Make it such fun as has never happened before.
- Okay, Your Majesty! - Birbal replied with a grin. - This is not a difficult matter, but you will have to fork out some money. To arrange such fun, I need two lakh rupees (two hundred thousand).
After receiving the money, Birbal immediately went home. In the morning, after bathing and praying, Birbal distributed one lakh rupees to the brahmins and spent the other for his own needs.
A lot of time passed, and suddenly Birbal realized that he had forgotten about the order of the padishah. “He will remember about the new fun and call me to account,” thought Birbal. “We need to get down to business urgently.”
Saying he was ill, Birbal stopped going to the palace. The news of Birbal's illness reached the padishah, he became alarmed and sent his most famous doctors - Muslim and Hindu - to the adviser, but the illness did not weaken, but, on the contrary, gained strength day by day. Then the padishah himself went to visit Birbal. Seeing the guest, Birbal began to cry:
- Lord of the world! There is no salvation for me from this illness; apparently, my hour of death has come.
The padishah began to grieve, looking at Birbal’s torment, and began to console the sick man:
- Birbal! You know how dear you are to my heart. Without you I cannot know a day or an hour of joy. God forbid you die, because I will die after you.
- Oh, Patron of the poor! No one has the power to turn back the wheel of fate. The deadline comes, and we lose even the most precious things. My last request: when I die, don’t forget my family, help them in any way you can... Oh-oh-oh! How my soul yearns!
Birbal cleverly pretended, and it seemed as if he really was mortally ill.
“Don’t worry, I will definitely take care of your family,” the padishah firmly promised and, having said goodbye, returned to the palace.
That same night, sobs and screams were heard from Birbal's house. Everyone started talking about his death and gathered for the funeral rites. Birbal's relatives, having agreed, made a human figure out of an armful of vetch, ritualized it as it should be, covered it with a blanket and carried it on a stretcher to the place where the dead were burned. Having performed all the required rituals, they lit the funeral pyre and burned the “body of the deceased.”
And Birbal at that time was hiding in the cellar of his house, strictly ordering his family to keep everything secret. The padishah grieved greatly when he learned of the death of his dear adviser. Only Muslim dignitaries and nobles rejoiced and presented the fakirs with delicacies. The Hindus seemed to be orphaned and grieved heavily. For several days, life in the city came to a standstill. Everyone was talking about Birbal's death. The padishah helped his children celebrate a worthy memorial for their father.
For some time there was no chief adviser at court, and all the courtiers helped conduct state affairs. Then, little by little, both the people and Akbar began to forget Birbal. The padishah, at the request of the courtiers, appointed one Muslim to the post of chief adviser. But the new wazir had a cruel heart: the people suffered greatly and were in poverty under his hand, everywhere people were crying and begging for help.
A year passed after Birbal's supposed death, and he decided that it was time to fulfill his plans. He handed over a lakh of rupees to his son and gave instructions:
“Build a palace on a mountain near the city, so that its walls sparkle, and this radiance can be seen from afar.” Prepare materials and everything else in secret - the palace should grow in just one night.
Birbal's son was also smart. He did everything as his father ordered. In advance, he collected everything necessary for construction on the mountain, checked carefully whether everything was at hand, and one night called together many craftsmen. He ordered them to build a palace by morning. And the next morning the palace was ready. The master craftsmen showed their greatest skill. They covered the boards with such a shiny varnish that, looking at the palace, no one would have thought that it was made of wood and not stone. Pieces of glass were inserted into the walls, which sparkled so brightly that the shine could be seen several kilometers away.
Birbal immediately moved to the new palace. Early in the morning he dressed up in a rich and beautiful dress and solemnly went to the city. During his rest, he gained weight, gained weight, and looked flourishing. It never occurred to those who met him that it was Birbal. Looking around with curiosity, he reached the palace. All the advisers paid attention to the portly and, apparently, noble guest, the work of the council was interrupted, but no one dared to ask who he was. Finally the padishah said:
- Welcome! Who will you be, where did you come from? What business brought you here?
Seeing that the padishah did not recognize him, Birbal replied:
- Your Majesty! I am your former chief advisor Birbal!
- Birbal? — the padishah was dumbfounded. - But you died?! Where did you come from now? And alive?
- I really died, Your Majesty! And when I ascended to heaven, Indra was very happy with me and made me his chief advisor. My life flowed happily there. Several apsaras (dancers) were assigned to serve me; I ate the best heavenly dishes there and drank ambrosia.
- Why did you leave the pleasures of heaven and return? - asked the padishah.
- Lord of the world! - Birbal replied respectfully. - You are my long-time benefactor. With this in mind, I asked Indra to leave to see you. The memory of your good deeds is always alive in my heart, and for you I captured a beautiful palace and a peri (fairy) from heaven. They are located on a mountain near the city. If you deign to go there, I will show them to you.
Padishah Birbal believed. “Since Birbal had died,” he thought, “he would not have returned unnecessarily, and even if he had returned, why would he lie about the peri and the palace? Without a doubt he is telling the truth. But we still need to check...” And Akbar sent the wazir with several courtiers to check whether the palace and peri existed.
When they approached the mountain and saw the palace from afar, Birbal pointed to it and said:
“You see, there, on the seventh floor, there’s a peri sitting by the window.” She is embarrassed that so many people have come. How she shines, the moon-faced beauty! How her beautiful curls curl over her shoulders like black snakes!
For a long time Birbal admired the beauty of the peri he had invented, then ingratiatingly asked:
- Well, have you looked at it? If not, then better watch it while there is still time. After all, you will have to tell the padishah about all this. Don’t try to evade and make excuses later.
The eminent nobles sent with Birbal, each more noble than the other, marveled at his strange speeches. “It was none other than the ghost of Birbal who came here. Of everything he talked about here, we see only one palace and nothing else,” they thought, and in response to his persistent questions they said in one voice:
- Alas, we see nothing but the palace.
- I beg your pardon, I forgot to warn you that in this world most people are mired in sins, there are even those - and there are many of them - who are guilty of mixing castes. Such sinners are not given the opportunity to see heavenly things, but others do. Look again and decide which of my words is true and which is not.
And Birbal again began to praise the beauty of the peri. This time the nobles looked especially carefully, but could not see anything. However, fearing accusations of sinfulness, they shouted in unison:
- Wah, wah! Yes, she is amazingly good! Previously, we only heard about peri, but now - here it is, before our eyes! No mortal has probably ever seen such a beauty!
“Look better, look with all your eyes, because you will have to report to the padishah,” Birbal repeated.
“Of course, of course, we will describe everything exactly as we see,” the nobles assured him.
Birbal silently made fun of the stupid courtiers, but did not show it. So, talking, they stood for a long time on the mountain near the palace.
And the padishah had already begun to worry, tired of waiting for Birbal and his envoys. Finally they arrived. Seeing them, the padishah beamed and began to impatiently question the wazir and the nobles. They confirmed Birbal’s words about the miracle palace and the beautiful celestial maiden, and they also added a lot of their own.
- I swear to Allah! - the wazir began his speech. “No one has ever had the good fortune to see such a peri.” There is no reason for the local women to boast about their beauty! And the palace?! Yes, with its brilliance and radiance it outshines the sun itself!
The padishah listened to these praises, listened - and completely lost his head.
- Birbal! - he exclaimed. - Bring her here!
- Lord of the world! She is a heavenly rani (queen), is it right for her to come here? She is waiting for you in her palace.
Could the padishah refuse? His heart was excited by the beauty whom the Wazir had so praised. He immediately ordered everything to be prepared for the ceremonial departure and got dressed up. The courtiers also dressed up, and soon the padishah and his retinue left the city.
If a stranger had looked at the luxurious departure of the padishah, he would certainly have begun to glorify the wealth and power of his state.
On a sultry afternoon, the padishah reached the foot of the hill. The rays of the sun, falling on the walls of the palace, were reflected in the pieces of glass with flames visible far around, and the palace seemed dazzlingly, fabulously beautiful. The padishah looked at him and immediately forgot about the beauty of his palaces. Together with his retinue, he began to climb the hill, and soon he was admiring the palace up close.
- Patron of the poor! - said Birbal. “Look up, over there, by the window, the peri is sitting and looking at us, and behind her stands her slave, holding a tray of betel nuts in her hands.” How pretty is this maid! It is impossible to describe her beauty; not a single shahina from your harem can compare with her! And what can we say about peri! Praising this maid's mistress is like comparing the sun to a candle.
Birbal spoke and kept pointing his finger somewhere upward. But the padishah saw nothing and said in surprise:
- I don’t understand what you’re talking about, I don’t see anything like that.
“If you don’t believe me, ask the Wazir and other nobles,” replied Birbal.
And they began to persuade the padishah in unison that they, they say, see the peri, and it is strange that he does not see her.
The padishah became thoughtful, his soul became anxious.
“I forgot to tell you, lord of the world,” Birbal seemed to suddenly remember, “that only great sinners cannot see the celestials even in a dream, and in reality there is nothing to say.” You take a closer look without blinking. In the same way, when a young, newborn moon appears in the sky for a very short time, not everyone sees it, but only people of noble birth or holy life.
The padishah was alarmed. “Everyone clearly sees the heavenly peri and her maid, but I don’t, why would that be? Am I really of mixed blood? We must hide this secret at all costs before my subjects find out about my shame. Everyone will flatter you in front of you, but mock you behind your back,” such thoughts tormented the padishah after Birbal’s words.
And he waited, was silent and again pointed his finger at the window.
- Look, look, ruler of the world! Moon-faced is sitting, and a slave is standing on the side!
Willy-nilly, the padishah had to agree.
“And it’s true, now I see it too.” She stands at the window and looks here.
Now that the padishah admitted that he saw the peri, Birbal took him, the wazir and all the nobles to the palace. There, on the fourth floor, in one of the halls, soft beds with velvet pillows were arranged. Birbal sat the padishah on the bed and started a conversation, but the padishah was only thinking about how to see the peri. Birbal guessed what was on his mind. He began to present everyone with flowers, incense, rose water, and then said to the padishah:
- Patron of the poor! You and your friends are dressed in the dress of mortals - these are mortal things, dust. I will give you “robes from the heavenly world.” By wearing them, you will taste the joy of both worlds - earthly and heavenly. I took this dress when I came down from heaven, it is eternal, imperishable.
Who could protect themselves from Birbal's snares? As soon as the padishah agreed, all the nobles took off their rich clothes. Birbal, on reflection, gave the padishah another dress, and said to the wazir and nobles:
“Here, gentlemen, are heavenly clothes for you too, do me a favor, put them on,” and he made a gesture as if he was putting something in front of them.
The Wazir, poor fellow, did not see any dress and thought: “Wearing this means remaining naked.” But who wants to be known as a person with mixed blood? Better nakedness than such dishonor. Involuntarily I had to agree with Birbal. He pretended to put on “heavenly clothes,” then seemed to straighten his dress and sat down in his place. He remained completely naked, and if he had not been wearing a langhoti (a man’s narrow loincloth), his private part would have been visible. Laughter filled the courtiers when they looked at the naked wazir, but immediately they were no longer laughing: try to laugh, and everyone will think that you are of mixed blood, since you do not see the heavenly dress. And they acted as in the saying: “Let’s agree, my friend: you are silent and I am silent.”
Following the wazir, the nobles had to take turns undressing.
The entire council remained naked, wearing only langhoti. Various thoughts entered the padishah’s head, and finally he said to himself: “There are very strange customs in the heavenly world.”
- Well, dear, are you all dressed? - he asked Birbal.
- Yes, your honor, now everyone is dressed, everyone is dressed up. However, I cannot lead everyone to peri at once. It's better to ask her permission first. I'll go, and you wait, I'll be back in a moment.
Birbal left, closing the door behind him. He hid in the next room, sat and sat, and then quietly returned to the padishah’s hall and said respectfully:
- Patron of the poor! Peri says, “Let everyone go home. Tell your master that I liked the local mountain air, and I think I’ll stay here for a few days. Later I will certainly meet with the padishah, but now there are too many people with him.”
Having conveyed the message from the heavenly maiden, Birbal added:
“Let’s leave, ruler of the world, since Peri so wished.” If we bother her, we will only anger the beauty and ruin everything. The wisest thing is to return home.
The padishah realized that he could not achieve his goal now, and decided to fulfill the will of the peri. They rode into the city in a long line: Birbal was in front, the padishah was behind him, and everyone else was behind him, one by one. The padishah and Birbal are in an elegant dress, and the courtiers are naked, wearing only langhoti.
The townspeople, seeing the eminent nobles naked, began to laugh. No matter which street Birbal and his naked troop passed along, those they met began to laugh. Finally the courtiers could not stand it and angrily said to the townspeople:
- Why are you laughing, you fool? Don’t you know that Birbal pleases us with the delights of heaven? You, mortals, cannot see our holy heavenly clothes, that is why it seems to you that we are naked.
The townspeople were not simpletons at all; there were many smart people among them. They interpreted among themselves:
- Sure enough, the nobles fell for Birbal’s bait. Long ago he promised to give the padishah unprecedented fun. And now here he is, riding with his fun, which is truly unprecedented.
And the townspeople laughed even louder at the trick of the cunning Birbal.
And the naked rich people heard the speeches of the townspeople, and they felt uneasy. But they firmly believed in Birbal’s words and, brushing aside people’s gossip, went their own way.
In the darbar, the nobles stood up at random, not distinguishing ranks and titles. Birbal took the padishah aside and quietly said to him in private, submissively folding his hands:
- Lord of the world! Will you forgive me if I tell you a secret?
- Okay, speak up. You will be forgiven.
- Lord of the world! Have you ever seen a dead person come to life? And where would the heavenly peri come from? Remember how one day, a year ago, you wanted to have fun with a new fun. You promised not to punish me, even if I allow myself insolence. I kept my word and gave you some new fun today. Now it ends. It is unlikely that you have ever seen such a gathering of naked courtiers and are unlikely to ever see such a gathering again.
The padishah laughed and turned to the courtiers:
- Gentlemen, advisers! About a year ago, I ordered the chief adviser Birbal to show me an extraordinary spectacle, and then I forgave him in advance for all the tricks and cunning that he would use. Today Birbal showed us this fun. I hope you won’t be angry with him - everything that happened today was done with my consent. I’m sorry that he made you all laugh, I didn’t want that. I ask you to forget about this and not to hold a grudge against Birbal, whom I am again appointing as my wazir.
Hearing the order of the padishah, the courtiers looked down and in their hearts scolded the impudent Birbal for what it was worth. Birbal took care to send their clothes to the palace in time and now hastened to order that the bundles be untied and their clothes distributed to the nobles.
Everyone got dressed, sat down according to rank, and the council set about state affairs.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru