Mr and Mrs Vinegar lived in a vinegar bottle. One day Mr. Vinegar was out of the house, and Mrs. Vinegar began to diligently sweep the floor. She was a very good housewife! But suddenly she somehow awkwardly hit the wall with a floor brush, and the whole house - ding-ding! - shattered into pieces.
Mrs. Vinegar, not herself, rushed towards her husband.
- Mr. Vinegar, Mr. Vinegar! – she cried as soon as she saw him. - We are ruined, completely ruined! I destroyed our house. It burst and shattered into small pieces!
“Well, well, dear,” said Mr. Vinegar, “let’s better think about what we should do now.” Look, the door is intact! No wonder they say: “He who has the door has the house.” So I’ll put her on my back, and you and I will go around the world to seek happiness.
And off they went. They walked and walked all day, and by nightfall they reached a dense forest. Both of them were just exhausted, and Mr. Vinegar said:
“Now I’ll climb the tree, honey, and drag the door in there, and you climb after me!”
So they did. They climbed the tree, pulled the door open, and immediately fell fast asleep. In the middle of the night, Mr. Vinegar was awakened by someone's voices. He looked down, and his soul sank from fear. A whole gang of thieves gathered under the tree. The thieves divided their loot.
- Look, Jack! - said one. - Here's five pounds for you. And you, Bill, are ten. Well, Bob, three pounds for you.
Mr. Vinegar couldn't listen anymore - he felt so creepy. He even shook with fear, so much so that the door also shook and fell right on the heads of the thieves. They ran away. And Mr. Vinegar did not dare to move until it was completely dawn. But he finally climbed down from the tree and lifted the door. And what did he see under it? A whole bunch of golden guineas!
- Get down quickly, Mrs. Vinegar! - he shouted. - Get down quickly! We got rich! Oh, get down quickly!
Mrs. Vinegar hurried to get down from the tree and when she saw the money she jumped for joy.
“Now, my dear,” she said, “I will teach you what to do.” There's a fair in town nearby. Go there and buy a cow. Forty guineas is more than enough, there will still be some left. I can make cheese and churn butter. You will start selling them at the market, and you and I will live a glorious life!
Mr. Vinegar happily agreed, took the money and went into town. I got to the fair and walked back and forth for a long time until I finally saw that an excellent red cow was being sold.
Apparently, this cow gave a lot of milk, and was generally very good.
“Oh, I wish I had this cow! - thought Mr. Vinegar. “Then there would be no one happier in the world than me!”
And he said that he would give all his forty guineas for the cow. The seller replied that forty guineas was, of course, not a lot of money, but so be it, he would give in for the sake of an old acquaintance. We made a deal. Mr. Vinegar received a cow and began to drive it back and forth, showing off his purchase.
A little later he met a bagpiper. He played the bagpipes - “tweedle-dam, tweedle-dam”, a crowd of children ran after him, and money just poured into his pockets.
“Oh,” thought Mr. Vinegar, “I wish I had bagpipes like that!” Then there would be no one happier in the world than me! Well, I wish I could get rich!”
And he approached the piper.
- What kind of bagpipes do you have, buddy! - said Mr. Vinegar. - Miracle! She must be bringing you a lot of money?
“What can I say,” answered the bagpiper, “I’m raking in a lot of money.” Bagpipes anywhere!
- I wish I had one like that! - Mr. Vinegar exclaimed.
“Well,” said the piper, “I can give her up for the sake of an old acquaintance.” Get bagpipes for this red cow!
- Hands down! – Mr. Vinegar was delighted. So an excellent red cow was given away for bagpipes. Mr. Vinegar began pacing back and forth with his purchase again. But no matter how hard he tried to play even a simple song on the bagpipes, nothing came of it. He didn’t earn a penny, and the boys ran after him, hooting, laughing and throwing dirt at him.
Poor Mr. Vinegar decided it was time to go home, and his hands were completely numb. And so, when he was already leaving the city, he met a man wearing warm gloves.
“Oh, how frozen my hands are! - thought Mr. Vinegar. - I wish I had gloves like these! Then there would be no one happier in the world than me!”
He approached the man and said:
- Well, you have gloves, buddy! Nice!
- Of course! November is just around the corner, and my hands are so warm in them that it couldn’t be any warmer.
“Eh,” Mr. Vinegar sighed, “I wish I had those!”
- How much will you give for them? – the man asked. “Perhaps I wouldn’t mind exchanging them for this bagpipe for the sake of an old acquaintance.”
- OK! - Mr. Vinegar exclaimed. I put on my gloves and trudged home happily. He walked and walked, completely exhausted, and suddenly met a man with a thick stick in his hands.
“I wish I had this stick! - thought Mr. Vinegar. “Then there would be no one happier in the world than me!” And he said to the man:
- What kind of stick do you have, buddy! Rare!
“It’s a good stick,” the man responded. “I walked many miles with her, and she was my faithful companion.” But since you liked her so much, I’m probably ready to give her up for these gloves. For the sake of old acquaintance, of course.
Mr. Vinegar's hands were warm, but his legs were so tired that he gladly agreed to the exchange.
So Mr. Vinegar dragged himself to the forest where he left his wife, and suddenly he heard:
- Mr. Vinegar, Mr. Vinegar! “It was the parrot who called him from the tree.” - Oh, you fool, idiot, simpleton! I went to the fair and paid all my money for one cow. Moreover, he exchanged a cow for bagpipes. But the bagpipes weren’t worth a tenth of your money, and besides, you don’t know how to play them. What a simpleton! No sooner had he gotten his hands on the bagpipes than he exchanged them for gloves. And they were four times cheaper. I received gloves and exchanged them for some crappy stick. You had forty guineas, but now you have no cow, no bagpipes, no gloves - nothing to show off: only this crappy stick remains! Yes, you could cut one like that in any hedge! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
The parrot laughed and laughed, so Mr. Vinegar finally got angry and threw his stick at him. The stick got stuck in the branches, and so Mr. Vinegar returned to the forest to his wife without money, without a cow, without bagpipes, without gloves and even without a stick. And his wife immediately began to bludgeon him, so much so that he almost broke his bones.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru