Once upon a time there lived a merchant whose chickens didn’t peck at his money. And he had a son, Michal, already an adult. One day he says to his father:
- Dad, in our city, like in a bear’s corner, you won’t see anything here. Why should I sit here? Let me go see the light and try my luck.
“You’re right, son, go.” Look at how people live, start your own business.
Michal took with him as much money as he wanted and set off. He didn’t start any trade, he just wandered around different cities and caroused.
When I had squandered all my money, I signed up as a soldier. Soon he writes home: “I am, they say, already a corporal; A corporal has a lot of expenses; he has to spend money on a whole squadron.”
Well, dad didn’t have to count the money, but he put his hand in his wallet and sent it to him. Our Mihalek is at it again: he partied until all the money was gone. He writes home again: “They say I’ve been promoted, send me another.” That way, by the time he gets to the general, he’ll peel his dad clean!
So he “passed through” all the ranks. Finally, indeed, he writes that he became a general. “Send me some money, and also a carriage and horses.” It seemed wonderful to my father.
- Look, you damned boy! You know what, mom, I’ll take the money to him myself, or at least find out if he’s telling the truth.
“That’s right,” says the wife, “your eye is best.” The merchant took two carriages, two pairs of horses, a suitcase of money and drove off. Akurat arrived in the city where the troops were in training. And Mikhalek was a great gentleman - a simple soldier!
Michalek got scared:
“Lord Jesus! Daddy came here!” He ran to the general and fell on his knees before him:
- Give me your apartment for a while! As soon as dad leaves, I'll pay well!
Well, he saw that the grease would be greasy, so he gave Mihal his apartment. And the general is not averse to grabbing it sometimes. So Michal became a general - for one day. He dressed up in a general's uniform, received his dad wonderfully, and treated him to great pleasure. The lackeys serve them, the silver rings. Dad feasted, had fun, left Michal money, a carriage and horses and went home.
At home he says to his wife:
“That’s right, mother, our Mikhalek is a general!” He will live in luxury until his death.
Michalek gave the general the carriage and horses, but the money didn’t last long: he quickly rubbed his eyes. What could he do? He took it and deserted from the army. When he fled, he had to make his way through the imperial garden. So he sneaked there and heard: in the gazebo this same general was talking to the princess. And Michalek came from behind and overheard:
“My dear, my dear, you and I have been walking for so many years, but we have never slept together yet!”
- Oh, what nonsense! It's very simple: at nine o'clock come under my window, throw sand at the glass, I'll lower your belt.
Michal waited in the garden. At half past eight I took a handful of sand and bam out the window. She immediately lowered his belt, and the soldier climbed up. What were they doing there? Well, as you know, they weren’t telling fairy tales, because soon the princess found herself with a box. Between kisses, Michal says to her:
“My dear, I need money for a whole regiment.”
“Here,” they say, “the chest, take as much as you want.” Michal collected some money for himself, also grabbed her personalized ring: they say, give it to me as a souvenir, and put it in his pocket. A minute later - exactly at nine o'clock - the general comes and throws sand through the window. The princess asks:
- What is it?
- Someone overheard us, that was still missing! Do you have a chamber pot here? Throw it at his head.
The princess's chamber pot was heavy and made of marble. She grabbed it and - bam! — she threw it right in the general’s face, smashing his entire face.
In the morning the soldier left. And in the darkness she didn’t even recognize who it was with her: either she was drunk with love, or she was such a fool. In the morning the general walks past the palace, and she immediately approaches him. And he snorts:
- Get away from me. Yesterday she threw a chamber pot in my eyes.
- This can’t be! After all, you slept with me.
- The devil knows who slept with you!
- Oh, what a fool I am!
Now she ran to all the jewelers and told them:
“If anyone brings you my personalized ring for sale, immediately detain this person and send him to me.”
And Michal went on a spree again and went on a spree. So he squandered all the money and went to sell the ring. I came just to the master who made this ring. He bargained with him as a diversion, and at that time he himself sent for the princess. She immediately arrived with the guards and took Michal.
But now she had nowhere to go anyway: she had been going for the last month. I bought him royal outfits and got married. Michal became king.
So they lived together for a while, and he said to her:
“My dear wife, I want to visit my parents.” Don't think that I am one of the simple ones. We don't have a lot of money. I alone scattered so many of them! If I don't come back in a year and a day, follow me.
And now he drew her a picture of where to go.
So Michal stopped at an inn, sat down to play cards and immediately lost all the money he had with him. All he had left was his clothes and his horse. At the second inn, he lost both his horses and his robe. At the third inn I left everything: where did the royal star go? So that he wouldn’t run around naked, they gave him an old shirt, a hat and night shoes and sent him out: go with God!
He runs home, and the merchant looks out of the window:
- Lord Jesus! Our ragamuffin trudges along! That's it, general!
Wife says:
- Don't let him into the house, why the hell is he needed here! Lock me in the sheepfold.
The merchant drove him into the sheepfold, and our Michal began to drill the sheep. He built them in a line, in a column, in a square - in every way.
Princess Michal is waiting, but he still does not return. She's already put on mourning. As a year and a day passed, she harnessed the carriage of four and set off after him. Arrives at the first inn. I sat down to play cards and won a lot of money, even more than he left there! At the second inn she won back both the horses and the golden robe. Well, the players immediately understood what was going on. At the third inn, she won back the royal star and clothes, and didn’t want to take anything else. After that he goes straight to the merchant.
Everyone there went wide-eyed:
- Look, some princess is coming here!
She rented two rooms from a merchant. When they served her for dinner, he asks the merchant:
- Do you have a son?
- Eat.
- Tell him to serve it. The merchant has nowhere to go, calls Michal:
- Go, an important lady wants you.
I was ashamed of the guy myself and didn’t even look at him. So Michal carried the soup and stretched out on the threshold. - Damn, - they say, - beard! It gets underfoot!
And during this year he never shaved or changed his clothes. When he brought a bowl of soup, the princess said:
- Come here, eat with me.
He sat down at the table and they began to dine together. And in the kitchen the merchant is already scolding:
“Why doesn’t this damned loafer follow the second one?” What is he doing there?
He looked into the dining room and quickly went to his wife:
- Well, what do you say! After all, he was sitting there, having lunch with her, eating straight from the bowl, like a pig!
- Take the whip and beat him!
The merchant goes as fast as he can to the dining room, and the princess says:
- I gave him permission.
They had lunch, then the princess ordered a pot of water to be brought and sent for the hairdresser. She washed Michal, dressed him in royal clothes, pinned on the royal star and sent for the merchant and merchant's wife.
- Your son?
They died like that. They crawl on their knees and ask for forgiveness. And Michal says:
- Well, well, don’t push yourself! Don't you see: I am the king! Now they sold all their shops and house and went with Michal to the palace. And they live better there than I do. Of course!
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru