Once upon a time, there lived an old man in the village of Asano. His name was Goemon. He was an extraordinary old man: he had a bump sticking out on his right cheek. A big round lump that looks like a good apple.
When Goemon looked to his left, he saw everything. And when I looked to the right, I only saw my bump. He really didn't like this. And in addition, the heavy bump made his head hang to one side. This was also inconvenient.
The old man was just thinking about how he could get rid of the lump. So one day he went into the forest on the mountain to chop some firewood for himself. Suddenly a thunderstorm began. Lightning struck, thunder rumbled, and rain poured down.
“Where should I hide?” the old man thought and began to look around. Not far away he saw a large hollow tree. The old man was delighted, ran to the tree and climbed into the hollow.
And it was already dark. The woodcutters' axes no longer clattered in the mountains. It was completely quiet. Only the wind howled past the tree. Goemon became scared. Out of fear, he cowered at the very bottom of the hollow, closed his eyes tightly and began muttering to himself: “Kuwabara, kuwabara” (“Forget me!”).
At midnight, when the wind died down and the raindrops began to fall less and less often, some noise was heard from the mountain - loud stomping and voices.
The old man was so bored sitting in the hollow that he was very happy to hear the voices. He opened his eyes, rose to his full height and carefully stuck his head out of the hollow.
What did he see? Not people, but mountain monsters were walking from the mountain to the tree. Red, blue, green. Some had three eyes, some had two noses, some had a horn on their forehead, some had a mouth from ear to ear. But not a single monster had such a bump as Goemon. Goemon became even more scared. He sat down in the hollow and shrank so much that he became almost smaller than his own cone.
Meanwhile, the monsters, howling and roaring, approached the tree itself and began to sit down on the grass. The main monster sat down in the middle, and smaller monsters sat on the sides in a semicircle. Then they all took porcelain cups and rice vodka from their pockets and began to treat each other, just like people. At first they drank in silence, then they sang a song in chorus, and then suddenly one little monster jumped up, ran out to the middle of the circle and started dancing. The others started dancing after him. Some danced better, others worse. When the dance ended, the main monster nodded his head approvingly and said:
- Good, very good! We're having fun today. But only you all dance the same way. If only someone would dance differently, in a new way!
The old man heard all this. At first he sat in a hollow tree and was afraid to open his eyes. But then little by little curiosity began to overcome him. He carefully rose up and stuck his head out a little, so that only his left eye was above the hollow, while his right eye, nose and bump remained in the hollow. And when Goemon saw how joyfully the monsters were dancing, he completely forgot about fear. His legs began to fidget. But it was cramped in the hollow - not only was it impossible to dance there, but it was impossible to move.
And suddenly Goemon heard the main monster say: “If only someone would dance differently, in a new way!” Here the old man was dying to jump out of the hollow and dance in freedom. No, it's scary! What if they eat it?
While he was thinking this way, the monsters began to clap their hands all at once, so unanimously and cheerfully that Goemon could no longer stand it.
- Eh, what to be afraid of! I’ll dance one last time, and then let them eat! He leaned his hand on the edge of the hollow, threw his leg over and jumped straight into the middle of the circle.
The monsters even got scared. They jumped up from their seats and became alarmed: “What is it?” “What happened?” “Man!” And the old man, without listening to anything, let’s dance! It will jump up, then bend down, then shrink, then stretch out, then run to the right, then move away to the left, then spin around like a top. Dancing and quacking:
- Uh, barking, uh, barking... The monsters stared at him, began to stamp their feet, click their tongues, and clap their hands.
- Great! - Yare! When Goemon was finally exhausted and stopped, the main monster said: - Thank you, old man! We ourselves love to dance, but we have never seen such a dance before. Come tomorrow evening and dance for us again.
Goemon just smiled: “Okay!” I will come even without your call. Today, to tell the truth, I wasn’t going to dance, I wasn’t prepared. And by tomorrow evening I will remember everything that I danced in my youth.
Then the monster, who was sitting to the right of the main one, said: “Or maybe the old man is planning to deceive us and won’t come?” We need to take something from him as collateral.
The main monster nodded his head: “Indeed, we should.” “But what can we take from him?” The monsters began to make noise. Some shouted: “Hat!”, Others: “Axe!” But the main monster raised his hand and, when everyone fell silent, said: “It’s best to take the bump from his cheek.” I've seen people and I know that no one has such a bump. This must be a very precious thing.
Goemon's arms and legs trembled with joy. But he pretended to be very sorry for his bump.
“Better take my eye out,” he shouted, “better pull out my tongue, tear off my nose, ears, but please don’t touch the bump!” I've been wearing it for so many years, I take such good care of it. What will I do without a bump?
The main monster, hearing this, said: “Look how he values his bump!” Well, if so, take it! Now the smallest monster jumped up to the old man and instantly unscrewed the lump from his cheek. Goemon didn't even feel anything.
At this time it began to get light. The crows cawed. The monsters began to fuss. “Well, old man, come back tomorrow!” You'll get the bump back. And suddenly everyone disappeared. Goemon looked around - no one was there. I touched my cheek and it was smooth. I squinted my eyes to the right and saw a pine tree and branches, but didn’t see a pine cone.
No more bumps! - What happiness! Well, there are miracles in the world! And the old man ran home to quickly make his old woman happy. When the old woman saw him without the bump, she clasped her hands: “Where did you put your bump?” “The devils took it from me.” “Well, well!” — that’s all the old woman said, and her eyes became round. And in the same village lived another old man. His name was Bouémon. He looked so much like Goemon, as if one of them was real and the other came out of a mirror. Bouémon also had it on his cheek
A big bump, only not on the right, but on the left. Therefore, when he looked to the right, he saw everything he wanted to see, and when he looked to the left, he saw not what he wanted, but only his bump.
And his head also hung, only not to the right, but to the left. Buemon had long been tired of the bump. He really wished he didn't have a bump.
So he walks through the village and meets his neighbor, Goemon. He looks, and Goemon’s right cheek has become as smooth as his left. It was as if he didn't even have a bump.
“Listen,” he asked, “where did your bump go?” Maybe some skilled healer cut it off? Please tell me where he lives, and I will go to him right away. Let him cut off my bump too.
And Goemon replies: “No, it wasn’t the doctor who removed my bump.” “Not the doctor?” And who? Then Goemon told Buemon everything that happened to him last night.
- That's it! - said Bouémont. - Well, I can dance too! Today I’ll go to hell and dance. Just tell me where this place is where they come at night.
Goemon explained in detail how to find the tree with the hollow in which he had spent the night.
Buemon, of course, was delighted and immediately ran into the forest, found a tree, climbed into the hollow and began to wait for the monsters.
Exactly at midnight, a noise was heard from above the mountain: loud stomping and voices. Red, blue, green monsters ran towards the tree howling and roaring. As the day before, they sat down on the grass in front of the tree and began to feast. First they drank rice vodka, then they sang a song in chorus.
And as soon as the old man saw the monsters, he hid in a hollow and closed his eyes. Out of fear, he even forgot why he came.
And suddenly he heard the main monster roar: “Well, isn’t the old man still there?” The little monster squealed in response: “Where is the old man?” Why is there no old man? Then Bouémon remembered his bump and thought: “Well, if he came, I have to get out. So be it, I’ll dance for him!”
And he somehow climbed out of the hollow. The smallest monster saw him and screamed at the top of his voice:
- I’ve arrived! I've arrived! Here it is! The main monster was delighted: “Ah, you’ve come?” Well done, old man! Come here, dance. The monsters clapped their hands. And the old man was almost alive from fear: he raised his right leg, but his left one buckled and he almost fell. He lifted his left one, but the right one buckled and almost fell again.
The main monster looked and looked and suddenly became angry: “What kind of dance is this!” You're dancing so badly today that it's disgusting to watch. Enough! Get out! Hey, give him bail!
Now the smallest monster ran up to the old man. - Here, take it back!
And slap! - stuck a bump on his right cheek. Now the old man has two bumps: a bump on the right and a bump on the left. But at least the head does not hang either to the right or to the left, but is held straight.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru