Once upon a time there lived a poor, poor peasant, and he had a wife, but no children. They reached the point where they had no money to buy bread.
“Eh, wife,” says the man, “let’s take the last cow to the market, sell it and buy bread.”
A man went into the city to sell a cow, and a priest with a clergy came towards him from the city.
- Hello, Taras!
- Hello, father!
-Where are you, Taras, taking the goat?
- Father, it's a cow!
- No, little light, it’s a goat, so the deacon will tell you.
- Yes, it's a goat! - says the deacon.
The peasant was confused, and the priest exhorted:
- Brother Taras, sell me this goat, here's three rubles for you!
There is nothing for the peasant to do, he sold his butt cow for three rubles, returned home and said to his wife:
- How stupid you are, instead of a cow you gave me a goat on a leash.
His wife attacked him.
- What, have you made up your mind? The goats are all at home, but the cows are gone.
- Well, grandma, what should I do? I sold the cow to the priest, we'll sort it out later.
Sunday has come again. Taras goes to the city and knows that the priest and the clergy will definitely go to the tavern for dinner. He persuaded the innkeeper:
“I’ll drink and eat for a kopeck, and you say it’s worth a hundred rubles.”
The clerks and the priest are sitting in the next room and talking to each other:
- What a man Taras is: he spent a hundred rubles in one lunch! The four of us will spend ten rubles, but he will spend a hundred rubles!
They look through the crack: how will Taras pay? And Taras dragged a huge cap, about an arshin and a half, into the tavern. He hit the cap:
- Well, innkeeper, has it been paid?
- Paid in full.
The priest and his priest look at this and are amazed.
Another time Taras hit the cap.
- Be healthy, gentleman innkeeper!
The third time he knocked, the innkeeper said:
- Well, well done, Taras, you know how to pay.
The priest says:
- Brothers of the clergy, let's buy this cap from Taras: it will be useful to us - every trip we will have a free lunch at the tavern. You, deacon, put twenty-five rubles on the line, the sextons will put twenty-five together, and I alone will put fifty; Maybe he’ll sell the cap for a hundred rubles.
Taras is driving home, the priest catches up with him:
- You know what, Taras? Sell us this cap:
he will help us out. How much will you take for it? We agree to give you fifty silver rubles.
- No, father, you can’t give your father’s blessing into the wrong hands: even if I happen to be in the city occasionally, I’ll drink and walk to my heart’s content.
“Listen, Taras, here’s a hundred silver rubles for you.”
- No, father, if you want to buy it, I’ll sell it for one hundred and fifty rubles.
“Well, clerks,” says the priest, “we’ll buy it, otherwise someone will give it more.”
They bought a cap for one hundred and fifty rubles. Taras comes home and says to his wife:
“Well, mistress, you scolded me because I sold the cow for three rubles, but now I sold my cap for one hundred and fifty rubles.”
Taras began to set up housekeeping, and the priest couldn’t wait for the holiday to go to the city for a free lunch. The clerks went to the city with their wives and nannies and children. Order to the innkeeper:
- Give us two hundred rubles to drink and go for a walk. The innkeeper is happy to try: he served two hundred rubles worth of various foods and drinks. And as soon as we had dinner:
- Well, father, please pay! Father climbs out from behind the table:
- Now, Mr. Innkeeper! The sexton brought a cap from the yard. The priest hit the cap with his palm. ,
- Well, how about the innkeeper?
- No, pop, give me the money!
The priest handed the cap to the deacon so that the deacon could hit the cap. The deacon beat and beat, but the innkeeper still asked for payment. All the clerks were hitting the cap with their fists, and the innkeeper kept saying:
- Give me the money!
The clerks began to collect money, borrowed money from friends and paid the innkeeper.
Taras spent the money he received for the cap in two years, and then he said to his wife:
- That's it, woman! Lie down on the bench and don’t move, and I’ll go get the priest and tell him:
“Father, please confess: my mistress is very sick.”
A man comes to the priest.
- Well, why did you come?
- Do me a favor, father, please confess: the mistress is dying.
The priest got ready and went with Taras. They enter the hut, and the hostess lies already dead, tidied up.
“Father,” says Taras, “bless me!” I have an ancient club (from the creation of the world), I will hit my wife three times with this club, she will immediately come to life.
- Well, if this club is still preserved from our grandfathers and great-grandfathers, I bless it!
Out of fear, the priest went out into the hallway, and Taras hit the bench three times with his club. The man's wife stirred and moaned. The priest was surprised that the man came to life. He enters the hut, and the woman is already sitting on the bench and swaying. Taras brought her a ladle of cold water, and she completely came to her senses.
Father praised Taras and went home. On the same day, he gathered his clergy and told him about the strange resurrection of the peasant’s wife.
- If only we could buy this club; Since we always go to funerals, we would revive the dead with this club. Let's get together and buy a club from the guy.
- And you, father, go and bargain.
- No, we’ll all go to him together.
They come to Taras.
- Would you sell, Taras, the club that revives people?
- Selling.
- How much will you take for it?
- Oh, father, give me five hundred rubles.
The clerks began to confer.
The priest says let’s put together, I’m two hundred and fifty rubles, and the three of you, clergy, are two hundred and fifty.
They gave the money to the man and took the club with them. As soon as they arrived home, a rich merchant met them.
- Father, my wife died today, worry about burying the body.
- Now, Mr. Merchant, we will arrive.
They quickly gathered and took a club with them. They arrive and there is a body lying on the table. The priest says to the deacon:
- Oh, oh, we will resurrect her! Grab the club, sexton!
The merchant is surprised why the sexton is carrying a club. The clerks hit the dead merchant's wife three times, but she did not come back to life. The relatives reported to the merchant about such abuse of the deceased. The merchant filed a complaint to his superiors that the clerks had beaten the deceased merchant's wife in such a manner. So, without thinking twice, they dragged them all to court for punishment.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru