Once upon a time there were no diseases in the world. People died either from old age, or from an enemy's scimitar, or because of some accident: well, let's say, the horses got scared, they overturned the cart into a deep ditch, or the village bull stabbed someone with its horns.
At that time, two old maids lived in the same city. They could not get married in time because they were very poor. And they became poor because of their laziness and gluttony. One fine day, afraid of starvation, one sister said to the other:
- Come on, sister, let's turn into a fever. Let's go and make people feverish and again we will eat deliciously and to our fill. After all, when a person becomes ill and falls ill, his loved ones prepare him the best dishes, bring him all sorts of drinks, sweets - just to make him feel better.
- Fine! - another agreed. - Just tell me what types of fevers there are, otherwise I don’t even know?
- When a tired person drinks cold water?, eats unripe plums or other greens, eats a piece of spoiled meat, we will get right into his heart and start shaking him: in the most unbearable heat we will blow on him with such cold that he can’t touch a tooth, and in the most severe frost we will throw him into such heat that he will be covered with sweat, like in a bathhouse. He will suffer from fever, and we will live like royalty. Well, follow me! As soon as we go out into the street, we’ll attack the first people we meet.
No sooner said than done! They sat down on a bench by the gate and began to wait. After a while, two people appeared on the street: one of them was a rich merchant, the other a poor miller. The lazy ones crept up to them and quietly made their way into their hearts: the first - to the merchant, the second - to the miller. They began to shake them. Truck-track! — the first one chatters his teeth. Truck, truck, truck! - echoes another. Chatting their teeth and coughing, they barely made it home.
Immediately in the rich man’s house everyone ran in, began to fuss, laid out a soft mattress and clean sheets for him, put a down pillow under his head, covered him with a silk blanket; They began to ask him what to give him to drink to keep him warm.
The merchant's relatives and friends found out that he was ill and came to visit him. One gives him an eggplant with strong slivovitz, another - three-year-old red wine, a third - homemade pork sausage, a fourth - a pie made from flour sifted through a silk sieve, a fifth - jam, golden apples and all sorts of sweets. Everyone brought the best of what they had - after all, no one wanted to lose face in the dirt. And he had many relatives and friends who revered and respected the merchant for the sake of his wealth. Seeing how the poor fellow was trembling and clicking his teeth, everyone felt very sorry for him - after all, none of them had yet seen how he was shaking with a fever. During his illness, his relatives and friends gave the merchant so many gifts - he could even open a grocery store.
And the fever looked at the delicious treats and licked its lips. He will shake and shock the patient, and then leave him alone for a while - giving him a break. And as soon as he stopped shivering, he felt relief and became so insatiable that everyone around him wondered where all this food and drink could fit. And this is the fever that sat in him, eating and drinking everything. Whatever she wants, everything is brought to her. The damned fever eats, drinks, and sleeps, but the rich man’s stomach only swells, so much so that he is too lazy to get up. Because the lazy woman with a fever keeps falling asleep, she is now even more lazy than before, when she didn’t have a fever, because then she didn’t have to eat and drink so deliciously, and she never even dreamed of such soft mattresses.
And the hostess, you know, pushes her sick husband aside and says:
- Wake up, master, wake up! I brought you some water so you can wash yourself. Get up, walk around the yard a little, breathe in some fresh air, maybe you’ll feel better! Have you been lying around for a while, hubby? will soon be three years old. You sleep day and night, eat more than all of us, but nothing benefits you. Only the stomach swelled up like a barrel, and the neck stretched out like a pole.
“Oh, dear wife,” the patient said barely, “what blind man doesn’t want to see!” I would like to get up and walk around, but this damned disease has stupefied me - it keeps making me sleepy. And as soon as I get enough sleep, the damned one again grabs me by the collar and shakes me like a dog's tripe. And when she gets tired of it and leaves me alone, I feel such hunger, as if I have an insatiable snake inside me, and I eat and eat, but the more I eat, the heavier it becomes for me, drowsiness overcomes me, and I forget myself and already? I don’t remember who I am or where I am. That’s why, little wife, I can’t even get out of bed.
- What should we do, hubby, how can we get you back on your feet? We called three hundred doctors, but no one helped you. Let me look for some wise witch, maybe she will help you.
- Look, wifey! Call fortune tellers, sorcerers, healers, dervishes, priests! Call everyone, just heal me.
The woman got ready and went to see a poor old woman, a famous healer. She told her about her husband’s suffering and brought her to her home. The old woman looked at the sick man, asked him what was hurting him, what he was eating and drinking, and then she said:
“I undertake to help you, if only you will listen to me and do everything I say.” And most importantly, you will have to be patient!
“Oh, grandma,” the patient groaned, “I will endure everything, I will obey and do everything you say, just save me from this suffering.”
- Don't worry, son! If you listen to me, I will get you back on your feet in three days,” the old woman said and left.
Returning home, the old woman picked a bunch of wormwood from the fence, made a decoction and took it to the patient. She gave him a full glass of broth to drink on an empty stomach. From the bitter drug the patient's eyes are barely visible? They didn’t go on the forehead.
- Oh, dear grandmother! - he groaned. - What kind of potion is this?
- Don’t be afraid, son, be patient! - answered the old woman. “This fever that has pierced your heart will not let you go as long as you eat only sweet and tasty things.” You must eat bitter and tasteless things to drive it away. And stop lounging in a soft bed, lie down on a bare mat, put a stone under your head and don’t put anything in your mouth except my broth for two more days, and you will see how this damned fever will run away from you.
The patient listened to her: he ate nothing for three days, only drank wormwood and water. On the fourth day, the old woman came to visit him. The patient lay on a matting in the yard in the full sun and slept soundly.
The old woman approached him so quietly that he did not even wake up, took a bucket of water that was standing nearby, and poured it over the sick man. The merchant jumped to his feet cheerfully, as in the old days.
- Oh, grandma! - he shouted. “Why did you scare me and pour cold water on me?”
And the fever was even more frightened than the merchant, jumped out of him and climbed up to the old woman.
“Wait, you old hag,” thought the fever, “I’ll shake you for depriving me of peace and contentment. After all, until now I lived like a queen. Didn’t the devil decide you to keep me hungry for three days and feed me this bitterness, which made me rancid for the rest of my life, and even poured cold water on me?”
The rich merchant immediately recovered and became cheerful.
- I wish you, grandmother, many years to come! - he said and generously gifted her.
The old woman hid the money and went home, but on the way she suddenly felt that she was starting to shiver. She barely dragged her old bones home. She lay down on the earthen floor by the fireplace, writhed, shivered with chills, clicked her two remaining teeth in front, got up with difficulty and drank a large cup of wormwood water?; I rested a little and drank another cup.
The fever realized that the old woman would pour cup after cup of this bitterness and would not lie down in a soft bed. She got angry and ran to look for some rich man.
But now, as soon as the fever became attached to someone, the old healer was immediately called, who became famous throughout the city. She gave the patient wormwood water to drink and drove away the disease. Couldn't you already? the fever of living like a king, just as the sick merchant lived for three years in a row.
Making sure that the old woman would not leave her alone, she decided to move to another place, where people did not yet know how to get rid of her. The fever was about to hit the road. She left the city and saw: her sister was walking ahead - the second fever. And she also decided to flee from these places.
“Good day, sister,” shouted the fever.
- Wait for me, let's go together! They said hello, hugged, and began to tell each other about their lives.
The first one told how freely she lived with a rich merchant, about all her troubles and adversities that the healer called on her, told, and then asked her sister how she lived with the miller and in other places.
- Don’t ask, sister! - she began to complain. - I was unlucky. I began to make the miller feverish, and he went to the mill, took a wooden mortar, pounded garlic in it, poured vinegar over it, and drank the whole mess in one breath. He almost poisoned me so that he would be empty! Moreover, when I threw him into the heat, he undressed and splashed into the ice dam. I was completely numb, I would have been stuck here if I hadn’t run away. I left him and went to live with a rich woman. For three years I had a fever, I ate and drank plenty of delicious food. But there is no longer any way for us to live in this city: out of nowhere, a damned healer has appeared and keeps following on my heels. As soon as I live somewhere happily, they immediately call her. Instead of a tasty meal, she gives me a bitter potion to drink, which has poisoned my whole life. I couldn’t stand it and decided to flee the city.
“And I, sister, am running from this damned old woman.” Where will I go? They look to see where such witches are not found.
- You know, sister, what I’ll tell you?
Since you and I have decided to run away from the city, then we shouldn’t separate: we’ll catch someone and we’ll take him to fever together. Just let's choose someone richer so we can live for our own pleasure until we get bored.
“It’s true, sister,” agreed the first lazy woman, “it’s bad to live with a poor man: you kill him with cold, and as soon as he grabs an ax, only chips fly in all directions, and he, you know, chops tirelessly until he breaks out in sweat, and then I have a really bad time.”
“And when you throw a poor man into the heat,” the second one interrupted her, “he will splash into the icy water, like my miller, and you will die from the cold.”
- Oh, sister, I wanted to tell you something else...
- Tell me, tell me what your smart little head came up with!
“Let’s live for a while the way we lived,” suggested the first clever girl, “and then we’ll get married, have children and teach them our craft.” It will be good for them, but let people suffer for themselves.
- Good idea, sister! God bless you with health and joy. Just may God protect us from bitter wormwood and ice water?
With such thoughts, two scoundrels went to another city, where people did not yet know fever. While they learned how to drive it away, a lot of time passed and the sisters feasted well. And then they found two idiots and married them to themselves. The sisters gave birth to a bunch of children - both girls and boys, and from them all sorts of diseases spread throughout the earth. These diseases were very different, just as people were different: some made you feel cold, others made you feel hot; some gave fever every day, others every other day or two; Some people got jaundice, others made them cough. and they brought many, many other sufferings to people. Male diseases are rabies, scurvy, heart disease. How they get attached to someone - they will either quickly send him to the next world or quickly leave him, because men are very impatient. And from diseases of the female gender, people did not die quickly and infrequently, because a woman is not able to overcome a man, but once such a disease takes hold, it holds it in its power for a long time, and the unfortunate person lives for years, neither healthy nor sick.
This is how diseases spread to people and torment them to this day.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru