Once upon a time there lived a tailor with his wife. They lived very poorly. They sewed all day long, but they didn’t make any money, there wasn’t enough money for anything.
One day a tailor took some canvas material and made himself a hat. He put on his hat, took the last money into his pocket and said to his wife:
“I’ll go sell my hat,” and I got ready to leave for the city.
- Well, you're chatting! “Who will buy your hat,” says the wife.
A tailor came to the city, saw a tavern there and went there, gave the seller money for half a glass of vodka, but did not take the vodka himself. From this tavern the tailor went to another. And there he gave the seller money for half a glass of vodka, but he doesn’t take vodka. He goes into the third tavern and again leaves money for one half-stuff. A tailor comes out of a tavern and walks down the street. The whole chilled priest comes towards him.
- Father, I see you are very cold? - says the tailor.
“I’m very cold,” the priest answers.
- Let's come here to warm up.
“It’s possible,” the priest agrees.
They go into a tavern, the tailor says to the seller:
— Bring us one bottle of vodka.
The seller brought vodka. Together with the priest they drank vodka, and the tailor, taking off his hat, shook it and said to the seller:
- Can you believe this hat?!
- I’ll believe you for a thousand rubles! - says the seller.
Pop is very surprised. “What a hat, it’s made of canvas, but they trust it for a thousand rubles,” he thought.
They both left the tavern and walked down the street. Another priest, very chilled, comes towards him.
“Father, I see that you are very chilled,” says the tailor.
“I’m very cold,” says the priest.
- Let's go to this pub and have a little drink.
“We can drink a little,” this priest agrees.
They went into a tavern, the tailor ordered the seller to bring vodka. He treated the priests to vodka and shook his hat again.
- Seller, do you trust this hat?! - speaks.
- I trust you for a thousand rubles!
The priests are surprised. “It’s made of canvas, but you can trust it for a thousand rubles,” the two priests say to each other.
The tailor and the priests left the tavern. On the street they came across a third priest. And he was very chilled.
“Father, I see that you are also very cold,” says the tailor. - Let's go to a tavern and drink at least a bottle of vodka.
“We can do this,” says the third priest.
The four of us went into the tavern. The tailor asked to bring vodka. The seller brought vodka and put it on the table. The tailor gave the three priests a drink and shook his hat again.
- Do you trust this hat?! - says the tailor.
- I trust you for a thousand rubles! - the seller answers.
The priests are very surprised. “It’s made of canvas, but you can trust it for a thousand rubles,” all three say to each other.
The three of us went out into the street and agreed: “Let’s buy this hat from him. Let’s go to the store and buy goods worth several thousand rubles.”
They went back to the tavern and asked the tailor:
- What is your name, godfather?
“Alexey Semyonovich,” says the tailor.
- Alexey Semyonovich, sell us your hat.
“I’ll sell it,” the tailor replies, “only I’ll sell it for three thousand rubles.”
The priests bought a hat for three thousand rubles.
The tailor came to his wife and said:
- Wife, I sold that canvas hat.
- How much did you sell it for?
- For three thousand rubles.
“Where did you find such a fool and sell him a hat worth three thousand?”
- They bought the priests.
So the priests took their hats and went to the shops. They went into one store and bought twelve thousand rubles worth of goods. They unfolded the hat and showed it to the seller:
- Trust this hat! - They say.
“This hat costs only two kopecks, and we don’t even need two kopecks,” the seller replies.
The priests were surprised. “Alexey Semyonovich deceived us. Let’s go to him and kill him,” say the priests.
By the time they arrived, Alexey Semyonovich pretended to be dead and was lying in the log.
The priests have arrived. The wife put her husband in the deck and was fiddling around nearby.
- Alexey Semyonovich is sleeping, or what?
“No, he died,” says the tailor’s wife.
- Well, if he died, good.
- Was he really needed?
- I needed it a little. We thought about killing him, but he himself died: there are few sins.
- If you have to kill him, I will revive him. Kill!
- How will you revive him?
The tailor's wife took scissors and a hammer, pinched his nose with the scissors, and quietly hit him on the forehead with the hammer - immediately Alexey Semyonovich “came to life” and sat down.
“Alexey Semenovich, sell these scissors and hammer,” the priests say.
“I’ll sell it for three thousand rubles,” says the tailor.
The priests bought scissors and a hammer for three thousand rubles and went home. We came to our place.
One of the priests somehow got angry with his wife and killed her. He took pop scissors and a hammer and began to revive his wife. But his wife does not come to life.
At this time another priest came to him. The first priest rather hid his wife. Pop comes in.
- I killed my wife, give me scissors and a hammer. - Where is your mother? - asks him.
— I went to visit my sister. Here, bring it! - the priest gave the scissors and hammer to the other priest.
The priest came home, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not revive his wife.
And the third priest killed his wife and came to the second priest. And the second priest hid his wife. Pop came in.
- Your mother is not here, or what? - asks.
- No, she went to visit her sister.
- Give me a hammer and scissors: I killed my wife.
“I won’t give it to you: I also killed my wife, but I couldn’t revive her.” A hammer and scissors are useless. Alexey Semyonovich deceived us. And we, believing in scissors and a hammer, all killed our wives.
The three priests went to the tailor. “We’ll kill Alexei Semyonovich now,” they say.
And before the priests arrived, the tailor cut out the floor boards and stood at the door with a crowbar.
Here come all three priests. As soon as one priest came in and opened the door, Alexey Semyonovich hit him with a crowbar. Pop went straight underground; and hit another, and a third too. He killed all three priests with a crowbar and put them in a closet.
Evening came. On the street, the soldier was staggering with a hangover.
Alexey Semyonovich called the soldier to him.
- Are you hungover or something? - asks him.
“Yes, the hangover is bad,” says the soldier.
Alexey Semyonovich gave the soldier half a bottle to drink, and then said:
- Here, a soldier, came to me to feast and died with me. Take him to the Volga and lower him into the hole. I'll give you a hundred rubles.
- Where is he? - asks the soldier.
“He’s in the closet now.”
It was about ten o'clock in the evening. The soldier carried that dead priest.
The watchman saw him and asked:
- Who's coming?
- Crap.
- What are you talking about?
- I’m carrying my ass.
The soldier carried away his priest. He comes back to Alexey Semyonovich. He drank another half bottle and is trying to persuade him to take the second priest too.
The watchman asks again:
-Who's coming?
- Crap.
- What are you talking about?
- Butt.
“Well, now you’ll drag all the priests around in our city,” says the watchman.
The soldier took the priest away and returned back. When the soldier arrived, Alexey Semyonovich prepared another priest. The soldier has arrived.
“Let’s drink another half bottle,” says Alexey Semyonovich. - There is another priest. Can you carry it?
“I can,” says the soldier.
The soldier also carried away the third priest. The watchman asks again:
-Who's coming?
- Crap.
- What are you talking about?
- Butt.
“Well, now you’ll drag all the priests out of the city,” says the watchman.
It's dawn. The watchman reported to his superiors:
“Tonight the devil carried away three priests.”
The chief reported to the other priests:
- You put on your crosses today. If anything, it can take you away too. If you wear vestments, the devil won’t come, he’ll be afraid.
A soldier comes to Alexei Semyonovich and receives a hundred rubles. In addition, Alexey Semyonovich treated him to half a bottle. He thanked the soldier Alexei Semyonovich and left him. He went out into the street, and a priest was coming towards him, in a robe, holding a censer in his hands. The soldier caught the priest and said:
- Oh, long hair, are you back again?! - And he carried him to the Volga, and drowned him in an ice hole.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru