Wyoming also had unusually intelligent bears, as described by one grizzly bear hunter who hunted in the Big Wind River region around 1885. His name was Grizzly Gus, he called himself that, and therefore it was so.
One day he happened to meet an old she-bear. She had two teenage bear cubs with her. Ges treated the bear like one of his own, and brought the cubs to his camp. Firstly, for fun, and secondly, for benefit; in any case, they will be good for something, he decided. Actually, Gus was not that much of an animal lover, and when the cubs grew up and one of them began to play pranks - for example, he tore Gus's clean shirts off the line and rolled them on the ground, or put his paw in his food boxes - well, Gus couldn't stand it, had a big talk with the bear, and they parted.
But the second bear cub was of a completely different character. He was easy to get along with, and he was also a first-rate student, picking up everything Gus taught him on the fly. Less than a year had passed since he learned to drive in poles for a hunting tent. Ges put up a post, smeared lard on top of it, and, of course, a fly landed on the lard, and the bear caught it - bang! - with his paw, and the pillar went into the ground. What a helper!
Gus nicknamed him “My Assistant.”
And although the Assistant was a grizzly bear, Gus managed to make him an assistant even in hunting the grizzlies themselves.
By the age of two, the Assistant was as tall as a ten-year-old bison. Gus rode around the banks of the Big Wind River on this grizzly bear, and the two of them had some good hunting.
However, the Assistant turned out to be the best assistant in the role of a cook. How he cooked when he and Gus set up hunting camp! However, he did not comprehend this science immediately. Gus had to tinker with him, but then the Assistant realized that there was nowhere to go, Gus did not like to cook and, if he did not want to die of hunger, he would have to cook himself. That's how I learned.
The Assistant began by driving in poles for the tent, then hurried to get firewood to build a fire in the camp. He stacked the firewood neatly, crosswise, and threw more dry twigs on top for kindling. There was no need for matches; he knew how to do without them. And here's how. Using the iron lid from Ges's camp kettle, the Assistant scraped a little fat off the smoked brisket. At the sight of lard, he always began to feel a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he began to lick it. But this only whetted his appetite. Having finished with the lard, the Assistant moved on to the lid itself. And the Assistant’s teeth were stronger than a grindstone, and sparks immediately began to fly. Well, you know what happens when a spark falls on dry wood chips. And the fire was burning!
Now it’s time to think about what to cook from? But it was as easy as shelling pears, because Grizzly Gus and Assistant always chose a camp site near the water. So the Assistant could only go down to the river, enter the water up to his waist and wait until the plump, sparkling trout itself came across him in his midday slumber.
One swipe of the bear's paw, and the trout didn't have to worry about anything else in this life. The assistant quickly cut up the fish and sent it straight to the sizzling frying pan.
With such a wonderful Assistant, Grizzly Gus's life was not a life, but a fairy tale. Of course, he did not pay the Assistant for the extra work. To be honest, he didn't pay him anything at all. So their days passed carefree and happily, until they wandered into places where giant grizzly bears lived.
Here the Assistant began to show concern. Why? It's hard to say for sure. Either he was afraid that his relatives would turn against him for helping Gus hunt grizzlies, or he was gnawing at the thought that if he had left Gus for his family grizzlies, he would not have had to work so hard.
And then one fine evening, when the Assistant was completely unstuck and everything was falling out of his paws, he missed and threw the fish past the frying pan. The next evening the same thing happened, no, even worse - a trout instead of a frying pan plopped down on Grizzly Gus’s mustache.
The end of the world! Gus hated the smell of fish more than anything in the world. When this happened, Gus's eyes darkened with rage. He jumped up, grabbed the lid of the iron kettle and threw it at the Assistant. He aimed for the head, what a scoundrel, but, fortunately, he missed. The lid hit the bear's face and took off a row of teeth on one side.
The assistant said nothing to this. In fact, the only thing he never learned from his master was to speak. He didn’t even get angry, he just began to show even more anxiety, kept looking to the north, where the high mountains rose, and grumbled in a special manner, which meant “big bears are over there behind the mountains.”
And Gus was only glad: well, that means a big hunt is just around the corner! This Grizzly Gus was a desperate fellow. Dusk was approaching, but this did not stop Gus, he could not wait to rush into the mountains on his Assistant and shoot a couple or three mighty grizzlies to add their skins to his collection. In those distant times, bear coats were highly valued, and so were bear blankets. This is how Grizzly Gus got rich. And he loved money almost as much as he loved strong tobacco, so that a magpie would land on his tail and a bee on his nose!
So, Gus jumped astride the Assistant, and they rushed into the mountains. They reached the top when it was already light. Gus slid quietly to the ground and wanted to sneak up on the sleeping grizzlies unnoticed. But the Assistant did not wait for him, but ran on. Then Gus follows him. He saw his tame grizzly only when he crossed the ridge: he was fighting with two huge grizzlies in silver fur coats. Standing on their hind legs, the bears hit each other with blows and slaps, and the roar was enough to cover your ears. Gus sat down to admire the breathtaking picture, when suddenly it struck him that his beloved Assistant was missing teeth on the left side. Oh, so that his hands were taken away then, it was he himself who left his faithful assistant half unarmed! And even against two such giants!
No, Grizzly Gus was not the kind of person to voluntarily abandon a tame bear, which he also taught various things. He broke off a huge branch and rushed at the fighters. He waved right and left, on the legs, on the heads, just to get his Assistant out of trouble.
The bears were beating and beating each other, Gus just kept up with them. At the same time, he cursed and scolded the poor Assistant for the fact that he himself got involved in a fight. In the end, the Assistant could not stand it any longer and, turning, began to waddle down the hill towards the camp. Gus sighed with relief and ran after him.
He quickly caught up with the Assistant and wanted to jump on him to take a short break on the way back. However, the Assistant was either very upset or too excited, but he suddenly began to run around in circles like mad. Have you eaten too much henbane? Once or twice Gus besieged him with his club, until finally he managed to jump on the bear and guide him towards the house.
“Well,” thought Gus, “now he will finally calm down in a familiar environment.” But that was not the case. The bear didn’t even want to approach the tent - he resisted, and that was that. As soon as he approached, he immediately sideways, sideways to the side - and well, again rushing around in circles through the forest!
“Or maybe I overdid it, should I have been gentler?” - Gus regretted.
He patted the bear's shaggy, silvered head and said a few kind words to him. It didn't help. “Well then, I’ll wear you out so you’ll be quiet!” - and Gus again gave spurs to the bear and, encouraging him with a club, began to chase him.
They circled the forest all night. The bear kept trying to get deeper into the forest, and Ges each time directed him back to the camp.
Over the mountain ridge in the distance, it was already dawning when they once again left the forest. Seeing the tent, the bear became timid again and wanted to make a new circle, but he just didn’t have enough strength, he was exhausted, his tongue almost hung to the ground. “That’s it, I give up,” he sighed and wandered towards the tent. But halfway there his legs gave way and he fell to the ground.
Gus's soul began to scratch—he felt so sorry for his furry Assistant, especially when he remembered how indelicately he had treated him just recently, throwing an iron teapot lid at him. Gus knelt down in front of the bear and opened his mouth to see whether the abrasion there had healed or not.
Bah! What did he see! “No, it can’t be!” Gus jumped in place in surprise: every single tooth in the bear’s mouth was intact. So he came to camp riding a wild grizzly?! And left the poor Assistant there in the mountains?..
Since then, Grizzly Gus gave up hunting grizzlies and left those places forever. This is how people tell it, and we relay it from their words, so judge for yourself what is truth and what is fiction. We only know that the Assistant stayed with the wild grizzlies, and when he started a family and had children, he taught them to pretend to be as dumb as your lamppost.
He knew that someone else's science would not bring any good to the bear.
“Don’t agree to drive in tent poles for any price,” he instructed his cubs in his, of course, bear language. — Or fry cleaned trout in a frying pan. And most of all, be afraid that someone will sit astride you!”
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru