And here’s another story that happened to the Helem melamed. Somehow, at the end of the school year, he had a whole capital in his wallet - ten hard coins. He sat with his wife for a long time and thought about what to use this money for.
Finally his wife said to him:
- Go, my husband, to a place that is famous for its goats, and buy a goat. No wonder people say: “A goat in the house means prosperity in the house.”
Melamed listened to his wife, went and bought a goat.
On the way, when he was leading the goat home, night found him. Melamed became afraid on the deserted road, he turned into an inn and decided to spend the night there.
When Melamed was blissfully drinking a glass of tea, and his goat was chewing hay in the barn, the owner of the inn sat down with him. Word for word, and after a minute he knew that his late guest was none other than the Helem melamed. Realizing what kind of joke he could play on him, the owner went to the barn and replaced the goat with a goat.
The next day, just before dawn, Melamed went into the barn, took the goat by the rope and went his way. He arrived home in a great mood and, seeing his wife, exclaimed:
- Good morning! I brought you a goat. Go and milk her. The woman took the milk pan, went out into the yard and saw that in front of her was not a goat, but a male goat. And she began to loudly scold the goat, her husband and the whole world of God, not at all embarrassed by the fact that the children, Melamed’s students, could hear her.
Melamed's honor was hurt. He jumped up and swore that he would immediately return to the town and disgrace to the whole world the impudent deceiver who dared to foist a goat on him instead of a goat.
- He still recognizes me! – Melamed was seething. Grabbing a rope tied to the goat's horns, he led it to a place, to the man who sold him the goat.
– The academic year at the primary theological school ends in the spring, on the eve of Easter.
On the way, he turned into an inn to tell the owner what kind of deceivers there are in the world. Taking a moment, the owner slipped into the barn and replaced the goat with a goat.
Having rested a little, melamed led his cattle further. In the town he quickly found a man who had sold him a goat and attacked him with abuse:
-Where is your conscience? How dare you give me a goat instead of a goat?!
He laughed loudly and said:
- You are a stupid man, and also a melamed. Can't you see that it's a goat and not a goat?
He called his wife, and she milked a full jug of milk in front of Melamed. Melamed felt ashamed: it turns out he shouldn’t have cursed the man. He took the goat and went home. On the way it got dark, and he turned into an inn. And when the next morning Melamed returned home, his wife discovered that he had again brought a goat instead of a goat - this was the owner of the inn.
The woman began to curse her husband and all his relatives to the tenth generation, and again in the presence of his disciples. The angry melamed swore that now he would certainly take revenge on the deceiver. He grabbed the rope and dragged the goat to the place. On the way, as before, he stopped at an inn and again brought into the place not a goat, but a female goat.
The seller laughed at him again and called Melamed an absolute fool who couldn’t tell a goat from a goat. And he again called his wife to milk the goat. But melamed decided that this time he would not let himself be fooled so easily:
- We know your tricks! – he shouted. “We’ve seen such smart people!” I will not believe that it is a goat until the rabbi himself, together with the spiritual judge, certifies it.
They went to the rabbi, and he, together with the spiritual judge, examined the animal from all sides, in the presence of all those gathered, gave the Helem melamed a certificate that it was truly a goat. The paper was signed by everyone present and sealed with the rabbi's seal.
“Now I have no complaints against you,” the melamed said goodbye to the former owner of the goat. “I’m sorry that I unwittingly offended you.”
He took the goat and the certificate and went home. On the way, Melamed, as usual, turned into an inn. And when the next day he appeared before his wife, it turned out that this time too - alas! – he brought a goat, not a goat. The wife clasped her hands and cried:
- Oh, God's punishment! Why do I need a goat? At this point Melamed became seriously angry:
- Your bad head! I have a certificate from a rabbi and a spiritual judge, signed and sealed by them; it says it is a goat, not a goat.
Less than ten minutes had passed before the entire yard was full of people. Some shouted:
- The woman is right! It's a goat, not a goat. All the signs are there.
Others objected:
– Melamed is right! He has a paper on his hands, where it is written in black and white that this is a goat.
Finally, the melamed and his wife, accompanied by a crowd, took the goat to the Helem rabbi so that he could examine the animal and make a final decision.
The Helem rabbi put his glasses on his nose and studied the animal for three hours straight, as well as the certificate issued to melamed. Finally he made his decision:
– You’re right, no doubt, Melamed. From birth this is a goat, which is confirmed by the certificate issued in full form and found in perfect order. But the Almighty must have commanded that the goats, upon entering Helem’s land, immediately turn into goats.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru