There lived an old man and an old woman; They didn’t have a single brainchild, they only had a goat: it’s all bellies. The old man did not know any skill, he only wove bast shoes - that’s all he ate. The goat got used to the old man: it used to be that wherever the old man went from home, the goat would run after him.
One day it happened that an old man was going into the forest to get basts, and the goat ran after him.
We came to the forest; the old man began to tear his tusks, and the goat wanders here and there and nibbles the grass; he pinched and pinched, and suddenly with his front legs he fell into the loose earth, began to rummage and dug up a pot of gold.
The old man saw that the goat was raking the earth, went up to him and saw gold; I was unspeakably happy, threw away my bast, picked up the money - and went home. I told the old woman about everything.
“Well, old man,” says the old woman, “God gave us such a treasure for our old age because we worked with you in poverty for so many years.” Now let's live for our own pleasure.
- No, old woman! - the old man answered her. “This money was found not by our happiness, but by the goat’s; Now we have to feel sorry for and take care of the goat more than ourselves!
From then on, they began to feel sorry for and take care of the goat more than themselves, began to look after it, and they themselves got better - it’s impossible to be better. The old man forgot how to weave bast shoes; they live and get on well, they don’t know any grief.
After some time, the goat fell ill and died. The old man began to consult with the old woman on what to do:
“If we throw the goat to the dogs, then we will be guilty of it before God and before people, because we received all our happiness through the goat.” Better yet, I’ll go to the priest and ask him to bury the goat in a Christian way, just like other dead people are buried.
The old man got ready, came to the priest and bowed:
- Hello, father!
- Hello, light! What do you say?
- But, father, I came to your mercy with a request, a great misfortune happened at my house: the goat died. I came to invite you to the funeral.
When the priest heard such speeches, he became very angry, grabbed the old man by the beard and, well, dragged him around the hut!
- Oh, you damned one, that you came up with the idea of burying the stinking goat!
- But this goat, father, was completely Orthodox; he refused you two hundred rubles.
- Listen, you old bastard! - said the priest. “I’m not beating you because you’re calling to bury the goat, but why haven’t you let me know about his death until now: maybe he’s been dead for a long time.”
The priest took two hundred rubles from the man and said:
- Well, go quickly to Father Deacon, tell him to get ready; Now let's go bury the goat. An old man comes to the deacon and asks:
- Work hard, Father Deacon, come to my house for takeaway.
- Who died?
- Yes, you knew my goat, he died! How the deacon began to whip him from ear to ear!
- Don't hit me, Father Deacon! - says the old man. - After all, the goat was, for all intents and purposes, completely Orthodox; when he was dying, he refused you a hundred rubles for burial.
- You are so old and stupid! - said the deacon. - Why haven’t you informed me about his glorious death for a long time? Go quickly to the sexton: let him ring in the goat’s soul!
The old man comes running to the sexton and asks:
- Go and ring the goat's soul. And the sexton got angry and began to pull the old man’s beard.
The old man shouts:
“Let me go, perhaps, because the goat was Orthodox, he refused you fifty rubles for the funeral!”
- Why are you still digging around! You should have told me earlier: I should have called long ago!
The sexton immediately rushed to the bell tower and began ringing all the bells.
The priest and the deacon came to the old man and began to conduct the funeral; They put the goat in a coffin, took it to the cemetery and buried it in a grave.
So the parishioners began to talk about that matter among themselves, and it came to the bishop that the priest had buried the goat in a Christian manner. The bishop demanded that the old man and the priest come to him to deal with him:
- How dare you bury a goat? Oh, you atheists!
“But this goat,” says the old man, “was not at all like other goats: before his death, he refused your Eminence a thousand rubles.”
- You're so stupid, old man! I’m not judging you because you buried the goat, but why didn’t you unction it alive with oil!
He took a thousand and sent the old man and priest home.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru