Whether it happened or not, they say that in former times there lived a husband and wife. Both of them were very stupid. They had two daughters and two sons. They married off their daughters, married off their eldest son, and only the youngest, whose name was Gobad, remained at home. He was the most intelligent in the family. One day my mother said:
“My son, thank God, we settled everyone in: your sisters were given in marriage with a decent dowry to good people, your brother was found a good, beautiful wife.” Now I have no other desire than to marry you too.
“I’m not going to get married, I want to live alone,” answered Gobad.
“Don’t say that,” the mother objected, “a curse hangs over people who don’t have a wife.” If you want the milk with which I fed you to remain pure, you must get married.
Whether Gobad wanted it or not, his mother forced him to take a wife. She brought the girl she had in mind, put her hand in her son’s and celebrated the wedding.
And this woman lived in a house with her husband, her husband’s brother, her mother-in-law and her father-in-law. She was not very efficient, but had a calm and unquarrelsome disposition.
One day she was doing housework and sweeping the yard when her mother-in-law asked her to bring a hookah. The daughter-in-law carried the hookah and dropped it. The hookah broke.
At this time, a goat bleated in the yard. The woman thought that the goat saw her awkwardness. She came up and began to beg the goat:
- Don’t give me away, don’t say anything to your mother-in-law. If you don’t give me away, I’ll put my earrings in your ears and bracelets on your feet.
The goat bleated again. The woman immediately pierced the goat’s ears and put earrings in them, and put bracelets on the goat’s feet.
At this time, the mother-in-law came out of the house. She sees that the goat has earrings in her ears and bracelets on her legs.
“Who put earrings in the goat’s ears and bracelets on her feet?” - asked the old woman.
The daughter-in-law ran up and began to ask:
- Dear mother-in-law, I conjure you as your son, let everything remain between us. I dropped the hookah and it broke. The goat heard and bleated. I asked her to keep my secret and for this I gave her my earrings and bracelets. I ask you, tell her so that she does not disgrace me and does not tell her father-in-law.
The mother-in-law approached the goat. She bleated.
“Hey, goat,” said the old woman, “don’t tell anyone that my daughter-in-law broke the hookah, and for this I will give you a colored dress and my silk veil.”
The old woman brought her colored dress and silk veil and put it on the goat. At this time the father-in-law came and asked:
-What are you doing for fun? Why did you dress up the goat like that?
The goat bleated.
The old woman approached the old man and said:
- Don't let this bother you! Our daughter-in-law dropped and broke her hookah; the goat heard; the daughter-in-law gave her earrings and bracelets so that she would remain silent. But the goat told everything, and I also gave her a dress and a veil. I don't want anyone to know about this.
The father-in-law approached the goat and said:
- Well done, goat! If you don't tell anyone, I'll give you my new shoes too.
He brought yuft shoes and put them on the goat’s feet.
At this time, my husband’s brother came and was very surprised: what kind of fun is this with a goat?
- Why did you do this? he asked.
They told him everything. He took the hat off his head and put it on the goat.
Now the goat was worth looking at: she was wearing a dress and a veil, earrings were hanging in her ears, shoes were on her feet, and a hat was on her head. The whole family surrounded her in alarm.
- Hey, goat! God forbid you tell Gobad, the woman’s husband, that she broke the hookah. How could he not divorce her!
Before they had time to finish speaking, Gobad arrived.
Seeing the goat, he began to ask what happened.
- Nothing happened! - his mother answered him.
- Why did you dress the goat up like that?
“Just don’t tell anyone, let everything stay between us: your wife was sweeping the yard, I asked her to bring a hookah; she dropped it and it broke; the goat saw everything; your wife asked the goat not to tell anyone, and put earrings and bracelets on it; at this time I came up and asked what happened; your wife told me everything; I gave the goat a dress and a veil so that she would not divulge the secret; your father and brother came; They gave the goat shoes and a hat as a reward for her silence. We did all this so that the goat wouldn’t tell you anything. Know that it was not your wife who broke the hookah, the goat made a mistake.
When Gobad heard all this, he was very upset, stood up and said:
“I can’t live with you fools anymore.” I'll leave you and go.
He went to his wife’s parents, told them everything and asked:
- Now tell me what should I do?
They replied that there was nothing to do, they must, they say, patiently bear their burden.
“No,” said Gobad, “I can’t live with fools anymore.” I’ll go to another city and if I see even bigger fools there than you, I’ll come back, but if I don’t find them, I’ll never come back here.
Having said this, he put on his wicker shoes and left the city gates.
He walked and walked and reached a city on the other side of the mountain. He walked through the streets, markets and sat down to rest on a clay bench near a house.
A man came out of the house and saw a stranger sitting on a bench. He realized that this man was a stranger here and was probably hungry. The owner greeted him, returned to the house, brought a pot of stew and gave Gobad something to eat. It seemed to Gobad that the pot, very large on the outside, did not hold much inside. In two or three gulps, Gobad ate the entire stew and looked inside. It turned out that the pot had never been washed since the first time they ate from it, and all the food debris stuck to the walls. Gradually it all dried out, became moldy, and there was very little space left in the pot.
Having eaten the stew, Gobad went to the stream, cleaned and washed the pot, and brought it to the house. The owner took his pot and was dumbfounded with surprise: he had never in his life seen a person who knew how to wash pots. Delighted, he ran into the house and shouted:
— A man has come who knows how to wash pots! A man has come who knows how to do everything!
All the inhabitants ran out of the house and surrounded Gobad. Everyone brought their own dishes and asked to wash them for a good fee.
When Gobad washed all these dishes, people from other houses began to come running to him, bringing him pots and plates with a request to wash them.
Gobad stayed in this city for several days. He washed the dishes and laughed at the residents of the city. And when he collected a lot of money, he left them, saying:
- They are even bigger fools than my relatives!
In the coldest winter, Gobad came to another city. The people there suffered severely from the cold: some put cotton blankets on themselves, made holes for their heads and tied the blankets around their waists with ropes; others put pots of water on the fire and warmed themselves over the steam; still others heated clay cakes over the fire and applied them to their bodies - in a word, everyone tried to warm up as best they could.
Gobad lit coals from the firewood, sewed a large blanket from linen and cotton wool, sculpted a fireplace from baked clay and set up a korsi - a low table above the brazier, covered with a warm blanket and used for heating.
Old and young, adults and children - everyone gathered around the corsi, hid their feet under the blanket and warmed up with pleasure.
Gradually all the residents of the city learned about this. They began to pay Gobad generously, if only he would arrange corsi in houses.
Having collected a lot of money, Gobad went to the third city, because he realized that the inhabitants of the second city were even bigger fools than his relatives.
He arrived in the third city just before evening. After wandering a little through the streets and bazaars, he wanted to go to the caravanserai and look for shelter. Suddenly, near one house, he saw a crowd of men and women. They all spoke loudly and made noise. It turns out that they brought the bride to the groom, but the tall bride cannot enter the low door of her new home.
“Break down the door so that the bride can enter the house,” the girl’s relatives demanded.
- Why are we going to break down the door? “Cut the bride’s neck to make it shorter,” the groom’s relatives objected.
Gobad intervened in their dispute and said:
“Give me a hundred ashrafi - gold coins and I will bring the bride into the house so that there will be no need to break the door or cut the bride’s neck.”
He walked up to the bride from behind and hit her on the back of the head. The bride bent down and entered the house.
Everyone rejoiced, and Gobad took his hundred ashrafis and left this city for the next.
He entered there through the city gates and began to wander the streets. And suddenly he sees that the doors of one house are open, people are crowding around, and noise and crying of women can be heard from inside. Gobad came up and asked what happened.
“The governor’s daughter went to take cheese from the jug,” they answered him, “but her hand got stuck there.” They turned to the city sage for help, and he said that they needed to either break the jug or cut off her hand. But, since there is only one jug, and the girl has two hands, they decided to cut off her hand. Now the people have gone for the knife, and the girl and her mother are crying.
“I will arrange everything in such a way that there will be no need to break the jug or cut off a hand,” said Gobad.
“Hurry up,” they answered him, “show your art!”
Gobad approached the girl and saw that she had grabbed such a large piece of cheese that it was impossible to pull her hand out with it. But the girl couldn’t figure out that if she let the cheese out, her hand would easily come out of the jug.
Gobad hit the girl on the hand. She unclenched her fingers, the cheese fell to the bottom of the jug, and the girl easily freed her hand. All the inhabitants of the city rejoiced, and the governor gave Ghobad fifty ashrafi.
Our tale is long. From this city Gobad went to the next. Before he had time to enter the gate, he saw a large crowd of people standing at a well, near which lay a whole heap of earth.
Gobad came closer and asked what happened.
“Don’t you see that the earth is swollen?” We are afraid that the tumor will break through and the earth will hurt!
- Why don’t you bring the doctor? - asked Gobad.
- We don’t have it!
“Pay me for the treatment, and I will open the abscess,” said Gobad.
He was given one hundred ashrafi. He took a shovel and scattered the pile across the field. Everyone was very happy and began to ask him to stay, but he did not want to and moved on.
After seven days and seven nights, he came to another city and saw that the governor, the mullahs and all the residents had gathered near the cracked tower in the city wall, crying and sobbing.
Gobad came closer and asked what happened.
“Don’t you see that the belly of the city wall has broken through?” We are afraid that the hole will get bigger and all the city's residents will die.
“I will sew up the belly of your wall,” Gobad said.
“If you do this, we will willingly give you a hundred ashrafi!”
Gobad took one hundred ashrafis, kneaded clay and covered all the cracks in the wall. The residents of the city were happy, but no matter how they asked him to stay, Gobad left.
“No matter how many cities I go through, everywhere people are stupider than my relatives,” thought Gobad. “I’ll go to another city; if its inhabitants are smarter and more reasonable than my relatives, I’ll stay in this city, but if not, I’ll return to my home.”
He went to the last city. But first he stopped by the stream to rest, wash and comb his hair. Looking at his reflection in the water, he saw that his face had completely turned black from long wanderings under the sun.
At this time, a maid from a rich house came to the stream for water.
-Where did you come from? she asked.
Gobad was very tired and replied:
- From hell!
- What were you doing there?
- Was a gatekeeper.
“Didn’t you see my master there?”
- Yes, I saw it.
- How does he live?
- Badly.
- Why?
“He owes someone a hundred tomans, and now every day they beat him on the head with a hot club for it.”
“For God’s sake,” the maid begged, “stay here a little, I’ll call the mistress.” She will come here and talk to you.
The maid ran home and said to the mistress:
- The gatekeeper of hell has come to this world, he tells interesting things.
“Go and bring him here, let’s listen to what he says,” the hostess ordered.
The maid went to Gobad:
- Come to us, the hostess has business with you.
Gobad went and saw that the hostess was young and beautiful, with a thin waist, in an expensive veil, in a satin dress, with flowers in her hair.
Having greeted Gobad, she asked him:
- Tell the truth, did you really see my first husband?
- Yes, and he has a very bad time, because because of the hundred tumans that he owes to someone, he is hit on the head with a hot club every day.
“For God’s sake,” the hostess asked, “I will give you a hundred tomans for him, please tell him so that he can give it to whoever needs it.”
“I walk,” answered Gobad, “and since my legs hurt, I won’t be able to get to him soon.” If I'm late, don't be mad at me.
“Since you cannot walk quickly, I will give you a horse,” said the mistress. “Go,” she ordered the maid, “take the horse and bring it here.”
The maid brought the horse.
“Now sit down and go,” the hostess said to Gobad.
- What will I answer to your husband if he asks: “Why didn’t you kiss my wife for me?”
- You're telling the truth. Go kiss me hard and go.
Gobad did just that; then he mounted his horse and set off.
After Gobad left, the woman’s second husband returned home. Seeing that his wife was sad about something, he asked:
- What happened?
- What do you care? - answered the wife. “You got everything ready from my first husband, all his money and property.” Now you won’t even ask what that unfortunate person is doing in hell, you won’t even remember about him. Today the gatekeeper of hell came, he told me that my husband, with all the wealth that he had in this world and that he left to you, owes money to someone in the next world and every day he is beaten on the head with a club for this. I gave the gatekeeper a hundred tomans and a horse and asked him to ride as quickly as possible and give the money to the unfortunate man.
The husband realized that some man had managed to deceive his wife.
“Oh, you stupid,” he said, “you were deceived.” Where have you seen someone return from the other world?!
“Yes, I know why you say that,” said the wife, “after all, you took all his property, but you don’t even remember him.”
When the husband realized that his wife did not want to listen to him, he saddled a good horse and set off after the “gatekeeper of hell.”
And at that time Gobad arrived at some mill. Turning around and seeing that they were chasing him, he quickly entered and asked the miller:
“Did you grind flour for the Shah these days?”
“Yes,” answered the miller.
“A pebble got into your flour and the Shah broke his tooth.” Do you see a horseman galloping? It was the Shah who sent him for you; you must be captured and hanged.
The miller was very scared. He rushed to Gobad and began to beg him to save him from the horseman.
“Let’s quickly change clothes,” said Gobad. “You put on my dress, and I’ll put on yours.” Hide somewhere, and I already know what to answer him.
The miller did everything as Gobad ordered.
A horseman rode up and asked the disguised Gobad:
-Have you seen a man on a horse here?
“No,” answered Gobad.
- Why are you lying? After all, there is a horse tied at the door!
“No, I didn’t see it,” Gobad answered loudly, and with his eyes he showed where the miller hid.
The horseman rushed there, and Gobad jumped out into the courtyard, mounted a fast horse with gold-decorated harness and galloped home.
Now listen to the miller.
After the visitor beat him, the miller begged:
- I swear to Allah, I have nothing to do with it! It’s your own fault for baking wholemeal flatbread for the Shah.
- What are you saying? - the visitor was surprised.
“Didn’t you beat me because there was a pebble in the flour?”
“No,” he answered, “I beat you because you brought false news from hell.” You took a horse and a hundred tomans from my wife.
- I brought news from hell? - asked the miller. - You plunged me into hell in this world, what kind of news could I bring from the other world?
And then it turned out that the cunning Gobad exchanged clothes with the miller.
The visitor ran out into the yard and saw that Gobad had galloped off on his horse and tied his own instead. What was he supposed to do? He mounted the abandoned horse and returned home.
-Where have you been? - asked his wife.
“I thought that if the gatekeeper mounted a better horse, he would sooner ride to hell.” So I exchanged horses with him.
- Well done, now I see that you truly love me and share my sadness about my first husband. Let me kiss your hand. If, God forbid, you also die someday and someone else takes your place, I will not forget you either: when the gatekeeper of hell comes again, I will send you money and a horse so that he can get to you as quickly as possible, and in memory of you I will kiss him.
And Gobad returned home with a tightly stuffed wallet, with a good horse in golden harness and said to his family and wife:
- I love you all and will stay to live with you!
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru