Once upon a time there was a man named Biron. All day long he walked around the city in a tall top hat. And everyone envied him because they thought his cylinder was made of pure silver.
Once Biron invited two dandies he didn’t know to a tavern. But it must be said that this innkeeper often fed Biron on credit and even lent him money. OK. The three of them sat at the table, had a hearty lunch, and when it was time to pay the owner, Biron took his famous top hat off his head and let him twirl it in his hand. He turns it over and over and says:
- Everything is paid in full! Everything is paid in full!
– Is everything paid in full? It can't be! - the dandies were surprised.
- Why can’t he? My top hat has already paid for the treat. If you don't believe me, ask the owner. Right, master? – Biron turned to him.
“Of course, that’s true,” the innkeeper confirmed his words without blinking an eye.
– You see, but you still had doubts! – Biron laughed and went out into the street with the dandies.
They winked at each other imperceptibly - it wouldn’t hurt, they say, to buy this thing - and began to beg Biron: sell and sell your cylinder.
“No, no, friends,” Biron denied, “this is out of the question.” I need him myself.
- Listen, Biron, why are you being stubborn! Better agree. We'll pay you well.
- Oh, friends, how sorry I am to part with the top hat! – Biron groaned as if upset. “But so be it, I’ll give it to you as a friend for a hundred pistoles.”
The dandies were delighted, gave Biron a hundred pistoles without haggling and received a top hat in return. Without thinking twice, they decided to celebrate his magical powers and went into a nearby tavern. We picked up various snacks there, ate our fill and began to turn the cylinder in our hands, saying:
- Everything is paid in full! Everything is paid in full!
-What kind of nonsense are you talking about there? – the innkeeper became wary. - Paid, you say? Where is the money then?
- Like where? After all, the top hat paid you everything in full,” one of the friends proudly puffed out his chest.
But the innkeeper did not want to listen to their stupid tales. He grabbed a stick in his hands and attacked his friends. Here, whether you like it or not, you had to fork out the cash.
They left the tavern and began to scold Biron to the top of their lungs.
- This Biron deceived us! Wait a minute, scammer! We'll give him such fun that he won't forget...
And, without saying a word, the friends moved to Biron’s house.
Biron noticed them from afar and became seriously alarmed. But, being a savvy man, he immediately figured out how to get out of trouble. He laid his wife on the bed, ordered her to lie still, and sprinkled her with bull's blood.
Both friends burst into the room and see a dead woman lying on the bed, and Biron stands next to her with a cane in his hand. His friends look at Biron and don’t understand anything: what’s happening? Did he really kill his wife? And Biron lightly tapped his wife with his cane, and said:
- Cane-cane, revive my wife! He knocked three times and his wife stood up. What miracles! - the friends thought. And the wife, as if nothing had happened, set about the housework.
- Wow! – the friends opened their mouths in amazement. – At least explain to us, Biron, what happened here?
- What is there to explain? “The most ordinary thing,” Biron answered them, yawning. “My wife made me angry about half an hour ago.” So I killed her, and then, as you saw, I resurrected her with this cane.
The friends winked at each other: we should buy a cane from him. And after much persuasion they bought it for two hundred gold pistoles. The friends rejoiced and hurried to one house, where their friend died in the morning. They approached the deceased and began to hit him with a cane, saying:
- Cane-cane, revive our friend!
But no matter how much they knocked with the cane, no matter how much they said sentences, their friend did not come to life. The friends then realized that Biron had deceived them this time too, and, beside themselves with anger, they rushed to his house: they had to get even for his jokes!
Meanwhile, Biron did not sleep. He knew that his fooled friends would not leave him alone. Therefore, he immediately cooked himself some stew, then raked out the heat from the hearth, and placed a pot of bubbling stew on the hot ashes. And just in time! Friends burst through the door and see Biron sitting by the extinguished fireplace, stirring the stew bubbling in the pot with a spoon. What kind of miracles are these: there is no fire in the hearth, but the stew is boiling!
The friends here immediately forgot all their grievances and let’s find out: what kind of strange pot is this? Biron explained to them that this pot was truly outlandish: they could, they say, cook any food in it without fire. The friends were amazed beyond words and, after bargaining, bought a miracle pot from Biron. They ran to their place, threw raw meat into a pot and, without lighting a fire, hung it over the fireplace. They waited a long time for the meat to cook, but it never came, and then, breaking the cold pot in their hearts, they shouted throughout the street:
– Death to Biron! Death!
They rushed to his house, twisted his hands, put him in a sack and dragged him to the river bank to drown him for his daring tricks. They dragged the bag to the shore, caught their breath, and then one of the friends said:
- Well, now you can throw it into the water.
“You can quit, but it’s just kind of scary,” another doubted. “Let’s have a glass of courage at the next tavern for courage.”
- Well, I don't mind...
They left the bag on the shore and ran to the tavern. Biron, of course, heard their conversation and as soon as they left, he began shouting:
“I don’t want to marry the king’s daughter!” I don't want to marry the king's daughter!
And at this time a mule driver was passing along the shore with his herd. He heard Biron shouting, ran up to the bag and asked:
- Hey, buddy, what are you shouting there? Do you really not want to marry the king’s daughter?
- Of course I don’t want to. “I’m not a match for her,” Biron answers.
“Then get out of the bag quickly and give me your place.”
“Your will, just untie the bag.”
The driver untied the bag. Biron got out of the bag, shook himself off, then helped the mule driver get into it and tied it tightly with a rope. He himself walked away, driving a herd of mules in front of him.
Soon the friends returned to the shore and suddenly heard a voice from the bag:
– I agree to marry the king’s daughter!
- Look, what did you want! - the friends laughed. - Better get what you deserve!
They grabbed the bag, swung it and - plop! - into the water.
- Be healthy, Biron!
They finally breathed freely and headed back home. They walked leisurely and everyone was glad that they got rid of this hated sly man. And suddenly... what is it?! Walking along the road is none other than Biron, driving a herd of fat mules with twigs. The friends rubbed their eyes: is this not an obsession?
No, what an obsession! The real Biron!
But where did he come from, if they drowned him in the river? The friends were overcome with curiosity, they ran up to him and asked:
- Hey, Biron, did you really get out of the river?
– Don’t you see for yourself? – he grinned. - Well, thank you very much for throwing me into the river. After all, it turns out there is a fair in the river. So I bought this herd there for almost nothing. In truth, each mule cost me only five francs.
– Do you think there is still goods there?
-Where will he go? Of course there is. You just need to hurry up.
– You’re right when you say it: we need to hurry up! - the friends exclaimed and without thinking twice they rushed into the river.
Since then no one has seen them. They must still be wandering around the fair and looking for cheaper mules.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru