Once upon a time there lived an old man who was so poor that he had nothing else except one bean. The old man planted this bean in his garden and visited him every day to see if it was growing.
So the old man says to Bob.
- Grow up quickly, so that I can get to heaven and look for bread there.
“I’ll grow twenty feet tonight,” answered the bean.
The next morning the old man got up at dawn and ran into the garden to look at the bean.
“Oh,” he exclaimed, “how you have grown!”
“Tonight I will grow even more,” answered the bean.
“Hurry up,” said the old man, “I really need to get to the gates of heaven, maybe I’ll get some bread there.”
A day later he went into his garden again, looked at the bean and exclaimed:
- Well, soon the end of my poverty! You don't have much time left to reach heaven, you grew up gloriously this night. Hurry up, grow even higher, and in order for things to go faster, you have to grow even during the day.
“No,” answered the bean, “I can only grow at night.” But in two days I will grow to the sky.
The old man had heard a lot of talk about Saint Peter, and he was eager to see him.
“They say,” he said, “that this saint is very kind.” He has the keys to heaven, and if I manage to get there, I will ask him to open the gates and give me some bread.
The next day the bean grew even more - it grew so much that the top was no longer visible.
“It seems to me,” said the old man, “that you are already tall enough.”
“Not yet,” answered Bob, “just wait one day and one night.”
In the morning the old man ran into the garden and said:
- Well, now it's time to hit the road. Can I mount you, my good bean?
“Yes,” answered Bob, “climb if you want.” The old man wrapped his arms around the bean trunk that was
as thick as an oak tree, and began to climb up, like a sailor climbing the mast of a ship.
Finally he reached the gates of heaven, where he saw a man of very respectable appearance. The old man, not knowing who he was talking to, asked him:
“Is this the gate of heaven, sir?”
“I am not your sir,” answered Saint Peter sternly.
“Sorry,” said the old man, “I didn’t want to offend you.” What's your name?
- I am Saint Peter.
- That's it! So these are your keys to heaven?
- Yes, I have. Aren't you going to, what good,
go in there?
- No, I only came to ask you for a piece of bread.
“Is there really not enough bread on earth that you decided to look for it in heaven?”
- No, there is still bread there, but no one wants to give me a piece. People used to be more merciful. I thought that at least here I could get some bread.
“How did you get here,” asked Saint Peter, “and who put you so high?”
— I climbed up a bean that I grew in my garden.
“Damn it,” said Saint Peter grumpily, “if you are such a miracle worker that you can make a bean grow to the sky, then it won’t be difficult for you to get your own bread.”
- Oh no, I can’t. Nobody gives. Be merciful, for God's sake.
“Listen,” said Saint Peter, “here’s a donkey for you.” If you need anything, pat him on the back and say: “Do it, do it.”
The old man bowed low to Saint Peter, sat down and went down the bean trunk. All the time he stroked the donkey on the back and repeated: “Do an ecu, do an ecu.”
Once on the ground, the old man saw a whole bunch of crowns next to the bobo. He collected them and said, rubbing his hands:
- Now I'm rich.
But instead of sitting at home with his wife, he hurried to the inn, put the donkey in a stall and ordered a hearty dinner.
The innkeeper told him that it was not proper for a poor man like him to spend so much money.
“Nothing,” answered the old man and patted his pocket, “I can afford it, because my OS will give me as much money as I want.” To do this, I just need to pat him on the back and say: “Del ecu.”
While he was having dinner, the innkeeper stole his donkey and replaced it with another, very similar to him. It was in vain that the old man stroked the donkey and shouted at the top of his lungs: “Give an equus, make an equus!” - He didn’t receive any more money.
The old man, who had already decided that he would be a rich man for the rest of his life, became the same poor man as he was before. At first he was very sad, then he thought:
“I need to go see if my bean is still in the garden. After all, I can get to the gates of heaven again.”
Seeing that the top of the bean was still lost in the sky, he jumped for joy and climbed up the trunk to the sky a second time. Presenting himself before Saint Peter, he said to him:
- Hello, Monsieur Saint Peter.
- Hello, old man. Have you come again?
“Yes,” he answered, “the donkey you gave me was stolen from me.”
- Because you went to the tavern! If you had left the donkey at home, no one would have stolen it.
“Have mercy on me, for Christ’s sake, give me something else.”
But Saint Peter was not in the spirit, did not want to serve anything and said that the old man wandered around the taverns too much.
“Have mercy, Saint Peter,” the old man repeated, “don’t refuse!” Everyone here says that you are very merciful and that you are the kindest of all the apostles. Have mercy on me!
Saint Peter, driven out of patience by such importunity, said:
“I don’t like being flattered, but to get rid of you, I’ll give you something.” Look, here is the tablecloth; When you want to eat, set the table with it and just say: “Bread and wine!” - everything will be served. But be careful not to go back to the tavern.
- What do you! - answered the old man, hiding the tablecloth in his pocket. - How can I promise you not to go there!
Having descended to the ground, the old man said to his wife:
- Cover the table with this tablecloth, you will have as much food as you want.
They covered the table with a tablecloth and only said: “Bread and wine!” - how everything appeared on the table.
The husband and wife were very glad that they had eaten their fill.
“Here we are again living in contentment,” said the wife. “This can go on for a very long time if you manage to keep the tablecloth.” But where can you stop yourself, you will again start wagging your tongue and bragging!
“I wish I could see a sly person who could steal this tablecloth from me!” - said the old man.
But he could not get rid of the habit of going into a tavern, listening to people and telling a story himself. He went there one day and sat for a while, and the hostess said to him:
“It would be better if you, poor man, worked and earned your bread than to hang around here all day.”
“I have nothing else to do but earn bread!” - he exclaimed. “True, my donkey was stolen, but I have a tablecloth.” One has only to shout: “Bread and wine!” - how everything appears.
“I took his donkey, I need to steal his tablecloth,” the innkeeper decided. And he managed to steal from the poor man a tablecloth donated by St. Peter, and under
its thread is different, exactly the same.
The old man became sad, began to grieve, and then thought: “If the bean is still as tall as before, I will reach the gates of heaven again. Maybe I'm really tired of you
Peter, but we’ll try anyway.”
He climbed into heaven for the third time and said:
- Hello, Monsieur Saint Peter.
-Are you here again?
- What can you do, I was robbed again.
- Because you went to the tavern again. But I warned you!
“That’s true,” answered the old man, “but I can’t resist going there, because I already told you.”
“Today I can’t give you anything except this baton.”
- Why did she give herself up to me? Unless, with your permission, I hit the dogs in the face when I go into the yard to beg!
— Do they hit dogs in the face in your area? - St. Peter's demand.
“Of course, when a poor man approaches the threshing floor, the dogs of the entire farm attack him, barking and baring their fangs. Here they hit them on their gaping mouths to drive them away.
“I have nothing for you except this club.” Get lost with her!
- What should I do with this piece of wood, Monsieur Saint Peter?
- You order her to fulfill her duty. Returning home, the old man decided to see if he could make a baton, and said:
- Do your duty! Then it rained down on the backs of the old man and his wife:
a hail of blows that they did not know where to go, and only shouted good obscenities. Finally the old man thought of shouting: “Budgeon, stop!” - and the club calmed down.
The old man thought:
“I will carry this club with me everywhere, and if I meet the one who stole my donkey and tablecloth, I will order the club to beat him off.”
He went to the tavern, where the owner and the hostess began to call him a simpleton and even laughed at him, how he had allowed himself to be robbed so stupidly twice.
The old man, who had had them in mind for a long time, said:
- Club, fulfill your duty, beat those who robbed me until they return everything they took!
The club jumped out of the old man’s hands, flashed in the air and began to beat the innkeeper and his wife with such force that they were immediately covered with bruises. Then they begged for mercy and began to swear that they would return everything back.
- Bludgeon, stop! - the old man shouted. And with the tablecloth in his pocket, he left the inn and sat on his donkey.
Now he had a tablecloth to feed him, a donkey to make money, and a club to protect it.
Translated from Russian · original on wisdomlib.ru